"CHOICE"- Reflections on the VTech massacre

It’s only been a week now since I met him.

You met him too then, under those most tragic circumstances. Before it happened, not many had heard of him; afterwards, who hadn’t?

He was a foreigner, whose name most people probably struggled to pronounce. His early life, in his home country, had been difficult. Even after he moved to the liberal United States, he part of an ethic minority.

His quiet, reflective character belied the difficulties that he had experienced. At a young age, he had already tasted discrimination; even suffered personally because of it. Over time he had experienced persecution and even physical abuse.

I guess it wouldn’t have been surprising for someone who had been through his life-experiences to be bitter, or even angry at the world. If he had dark thoughts, his therapist would likely have called them “natural”, considering his circumstances.

Considering the relevance of that Monday in his life, the negative images must have been magnified. Turbulent emotions likely cascaded through his mind as he walked through the hallways of Virginia Tech campus on that cold morning. It was the perfect day for his emotions to ignite.

It happened shortly after 9:00 a.m. In one notorious moment, he was blasted from near-obscurity to the world’s front pages.

His face will remain before our eyes, his actions etched in our conscience.

In an instant he became a hero; the man who placed his body between a senseless gunman and a classroom full of students.

Having endured anti-Semitic Romania, labour camps and Communist discrimination, Liviu Librescu had every excuse to be angry at the world. As a child, he saw his father torn away by the Nazis, and as an adult, the Communists robbed him of his career. If anyone should have felt vengeful, he should have. He chose not to be.

Monday was Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Memorial Day), a day that represented every seminal trauma of his life. It became the day that crystallized his response to that horror.

Liviu Librescu, following the legacy of tens of thousands before him, chose how to respond to life’s circumstances. Like his predecessors who emerged from the ravages of Crusade, the Auto Da Fé of Spain or the Gas Chambers, Librescu understood that a Jew is not shaped by life, but shapes life.

Years past retirement age, he remained committed to teaching, to sharing and adding value to the lives of others.

Our society is unnecessarily tolerant of people’s willingness to blame circumstances for their deviant behaviour.

Unlike his killer’s “You made me do this”, Librescu refused to surrender to “circumstances”. He understood the greatest gift of being human- choice.

He chose to live.

He chose to rise from the ashes to success and scientific renown.

He chose to dedicate himself to enhance life.

He chose to sacrifice his life to preserve the lives of others.

Librescu and his murderer stood separated by four centimeters of door; and by attitudes that are light-years apart.

I stand proud in the knowledge that I belong to the People of Liviu Librescu.

May his memory be a blessing- and an eternal inspiration to us all.

(This article was inspired by Rabbi Eitan Ash of Chabad House Shul, Savoy)

Who's afraid of a rhinoceros?

I took my children to the Pilaneseberg Game Park the other day. Out in the wild, you get to spend quality time as you try spot the various animal and bird species.

It was relaxed and we chatted, joked, sang. Only one dark cloud hung over this exciting excursion: The Rhino.

Lions, elephants and leopards- we could handle all of them. In fact, we couldn’t wait to catch a glimpse of the Big Five. Well, actually the Big Four, because nobody wanted to encounter a Rhino.

The more they protested, the more I wanted to encounter Rhino- at close range.

Last time we had visited the same park, our bright red minivan raised the ire of a protective mother rhino. She charged, the kids panicked, I screeched off.

We got out of there with plenty time to spare, but the children remained traumatized. So, we needed to see Rhino, to normalize the Safari experience in the minds of my overly imaginative kids.

Then it happened. My eight-year-old daughter asked the question: “Why must we be scared of Hashem?”

Apparently, with all the talk of fears, this one had surfaced in her mind.

It reminded me of a ridiculous story I once heard. There was a deeply religious man who encountered the Torah’s commandment to “fear G-d”. Not sure how to achieve this, he turned to an equally observant, but rather superficial colleague for advice.

“This is how I do it,” the latter began, “I imagine a large, powerful, temperamental bull. Then, I picture that bull charging at me. I have a pretty good imagination, and it actually scares me to visualize this scene. At that point, I tell myself: ‘G-d is larger and more powerful than any bull I can imagine’. For me, that’s enough to fear Him.”

I told my daughter that the word “scared” isn’t the right word for Hashem. You could be scared of a rhino, because you imagine it might harm you. But, there’s no need to be scared of G-d. He is kind, gracious and interested in our wellbeing.

“Fear” of G-d is pointless, “awe” is appropriate. When you perceive His infinite greatness, and consider that He still takes an interest in you, you should be overawed. You should worry that perhaps you have not been giving Him all you can, considering He gives you all you have.

I’d like to think she understood, but we didn’t get to finish the conversation. We ran into a group of rhinos.

Lessons from a thief

One of the primary lessons of the Baal Shem Tov (founder of the Chassidic movement) was to take a spiritual lesson from everything you encounter in life.

Rabbi Meshulam Zusya of Anipoli was a spiritual master and student of the Baal Shem Tov's teachings. Reb Zushe- as he was known- defined seven lessons we can take from a thief.

(DISCLAIMER: The same spiritual force that motivates a criminal, impedes us from achieving our spiritual goals. In other words, it's easier for a thief to get this right than it would be for us).

1) He works quietly.

It's only the dumb thieves who boast of their exploits, or leave their ID at the crime scene- and get caught. A smart thief realizes that stealth and a low-profile are his key assets.

It's the same with spirituality. The foundation of all spiritual progress is humility. Moses is lauded in Torah for being the "most humble man" ever, not the most learned man ever (though he was that too).

2) He is ready to place himself in danger.

At any moment, an alarm might trigger and bring the police; or the thief could be spotted. He knows the risks, but goes ahead anyway.

Spiritual progress also involves taking risks. Nobody moves spiritually if they are too worried about what "might be".

Some of us are afraid to take the risk of showing our Jewishness in public. Others worry how their family will react to their newfound spirituality. The greatest challenge of all is taking the risk that your spiritual improvement may actually transform you into a different person.

Yet, that's the way spirituality works- take a chance, do something that you never imagined you could do. The Red Sea split because people took the chance of walking into it.

3) Every detail is important.

Did you hear the (true) story of a group of Romanian burglars? They cased a local bank for months and eventually made their move one night. They had overlooked one minor detail- the bank had moved to new premises a few days earlier.

People often wonder why Judaism pays so much attention to details. "Who cares if my mezuzah is missing a letter, surely it's the thought that counts?"

NASA has grounded billion dollar space flights in the past because of a loose screw. Your Judaism is a far more important project than any well-staged crime, or even a space mission. When the stakes are high, every detail counts.

4) He works hard.

Spirituality doesn't operate in a vacuum. Unless G-d appears to you and inspires you personally, you're not going to find your way to spiritual enlightenment overnight.

The important things in life come through effort. If you want the "treasure", you need to put in the effort.

5) The need for speed.

Thieves and getaway cars are quite synonymous. When he's in the process of stealing, a thief doesn't have time to waste. He needs to be quick, energetic and efficient.

You could have the greatest spiritual potential, but if you're sluggish or lazy, you probably won't move too far. Avraham, the first Jew, is quoted in the Torah as "waking up early in the morning" to fulfil G-d's missions.

We're his descendants- we're expected to operate with the same enthusiasm.

6) Confidence and optimism.

Who would attempt crime if he believed he would be caught?

You only succeed when you believe you can succeed. Too often, we tell ourselves that such-and-such a spiritual ideal is beyond us.

The arch-enemy of the Jewish people is "Amalek", the nation who had the gall to attack us as we left Egypt (when the rest of the world was cowering in fear after we defeated the Egyptian superpower).

In spiritual terms, Amalek represents doubt. Just as you begin to emerge spiritually, the doubts set in: "Can I really do this?".

That's the arch-enemy of a Jew. Hashem is one your side, you can definitely succeed.

7) If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

You have to give criminals credit for perseverance. They will keep attempting a lucrative robbery time and again. They may be arrested and resume a life of crime when they get out.

All too often, we try, fail- and give up. "A Tzadik falls seven times before rising," says the Torah.

The question is not whether or not you fail, but how you react when you fail.

_____________________________________

Jews are charged with the task of transforming the world into a holy place. When we improve our own spiritual progress based on a thief's behaviour, we transform the world of thieves into something a little holier. Hopefully, we do it enough to actually eradicate crime altogether.

Is enough really enough? (A fresh angle on Dayeinu)

I recently read a story about a guy who wants to sell his late grandfather’s violin. He goes to a friend, an antique dealer, to get a quote.

The dealer tells him: “Old fiddles don’t really fetch a great price nowadays.”

So, he asks the dealer what the difference is between a fiddle and a violin.

The dealer explains: “If I’m buying it from you, it’s a fiddle; if you’re buying it from me, it’s a violin.”

* * * * *

There are certain moments during the Pesach Seder which are especially animated. One of these is “Dayeinu”. In homes all around the globe, everyone joins in and sings about all the wonderful things that G-d did for us during the Exodus from Egypt.

Every once in a while, though, somebody reads the famous poem with a discerning eye and asks the obvious question. Apparently, half of what we say there makes no sense.

We say: “If He had split the sea and not led us across it on dry land- dayeinu (it would have been enough for us).”
“If he had taken us across on dry land and not drowned our enemies- dayeinu.”
“If he had drowned our enemies, but not provided food for us in the desert for 40 years- dayeinu.”

What?!

If G-d had not taken us across the sea, drowned the Egyptians or fed us in the desert, we would have died! How can we honestly say any one of those steps would have been “sufficient”?

Now, I know there are several classical answers to this question, but a different thought crossed my mind this year- that it’s all about how you read Dayeinu.

The Pesach experience is supposed to be a personal spiritual-growth launch-pad. Part of that includes revisiting how we look at our world- and making some changes.

For many of us the personal version of Dayeinu might go something like this:

If I give charity regularly, but don't go to Shul- dayeinu (I have
done enough for G-d).
If I would go to Shul, but only once a year- dayeinu.
If I not only go to Shul once a year, but once a month- dayeinu.
If I not only go to Shul once a month, but also eat kosher at home- dayeinu.

In other words, we believe we do more than enough for Him, but He often doesn’t do enough for us.

When you look at life from that perspective, you tend to wonder how you can ever say dayeinu (it is enough for me). You’re giving G-d violins- and getting fiddles in return. Regardless what you have, you still feel you need more.

A chosid once came to ask the first Chabad Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, for a blessing.
The Rebbe said to him: “What you need you do not hesitate to mention, but what you are needed for, you omit to mention…”

Pesach challenges us to shift our focus, to introduce an objective dayeinu to our lives.

That dayeinu would go something like this:

If I wake up in the morning, even unable to get out of bed- dayeinu (it would be enough reason to be indebted to Him).
If I get out bed, but don’t have running water- dayeinu.
If I have running water, but not a wardrobe full of clothing to wear- dayeinu.
If I have clothing to choose from, but not a fridge full of food- dayeinu.
If I have a fridge full of food, but no job to go to- dayeinu.
If I have employment, but no transport to get me there- dayeinu.
If I have employment my own transport and a family to make all the effort worthwhile- dayeinu.

Dayeinu is a reminder of how much we have to be thankful for- and how appropriate it is to give a little back to Him, considering all that He does for us.

Good question!

Why is this night different? Because we ask questions?

Can’t be, Jews always ask questions. We take nothing for granted. We challenge everything, query everything (just observe a Jewish person receive a bill) and question, question, question. We even answer questions with questions- don’t we?

Pesach is not a one-night-opportunity for questions; we’re expected to keep our enquiring mind alive all year round. Rather, Pesach commemorates the birth of the Jewish nation- a nation that is different. “Why is this night different” is another way of saying, “Why is this People different?”

We’re different because we ask questions. While other religions place a premium on unquestioning faith, Judaism traditionally asks, and asks again.

Of the four sons listed at the Pesach Seder, the one who turns up stone last (even after the “wicked” son) is the one who “doesn’t know how to ask”. Rather ask an inappropriate question (as the “wicked” son does) than ask nothing at all.

Why?

Because the only way to grow spiritually is to take nothing for granted. If you accept the fact that you’re a slave in Egypt, you can never leave. Once you ask “why should I remain this way?”, you take the first step to personal liberation.

A Jew’s worst enemy is complacency. Questions shake us out of that apathetic state.

So, if you want to make this “night”, your current spiritual state different (better), then you need to start asking questions.

Grow up?

Nobody appreciates childish behaviour in an adult. As adults, we’re expected to do adult things: Act responsibly, react to situations with maturity, be practical- and retain a basic level of cynicism.

When Pesach arrives, we shift focus for a night or two. Seder night is kids’ night. That’s not to say that the Seder is for kids only. Nor does it suggest that the Seder is the only time Judaism highlights children. Rather, the Seder is the time to become a child again.

Traditionally, the youngest child asks the Four Questions. But, if there’s no child available, an adult has to assume the child’s role and ask the questions. Karpas- dipping a veggie piece into salt water- was designed to get the children asking questions. Let’s be honest, it has you asking too. Singing Pesach songs and pondering (or acting out) the 10 plagues have a childish sparkle to them. As you analyze the four sons, you must wonder which of the four you are. And who doesn’t have just as much fun as the kids when it’s time for the Afikomen hide-and-seek game towards the end of the Seder?

The Pesach Seder is not only about entertaining the kids, it’s about becoming a child again.

As healthy as it is to be an adult, there are some childlike traits that are worth trying to recapture. Innocence, naiveté and wild imagination are childhood treasures we should earth up once in a while.

Pesach is about breaking barriers, transcending personal issues and liberating the spirit. To do those things, you need to become a child again- trusting and unafraid to dream.

Babies are naïve enough to make the leap from crawling to walking, and youngsters’ dream they will change the world. Pesach invites us to join this world of unfettered trust and fantastic dreams- and empowers us to make them happen.

Girl-Power

Here's an interesting article that I received this week from Rabbi Shea Hecht:

Just a few short weeks ago one of the many e-mail messages that pass through my inbox caught my eye. The subject line beckoned me to do something to help the kidnapped Israeli soldiers who are still in captivity. I was fascinated. What could I, living in NY, do to help Israeli soldiers taken hostage?

Turns out that this e-mail campaign was an effort that was spearheaded by Laurie Rappeport, a dynamic woman in Tzfat, Israel. The e-mail was forwarded to women the world over and was related to the Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah, a Mitzvah specific to women.

The women who answered Laurie's call were willing to dedicate the merit of the Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah to the welfare of the imprisoned Israeli soldiers. These women dedicated the Mitzvah in an effort to affect a positive change in someone else's life.

Unfortunately, the soldiers are still in captivity, but this worldwide effort by women to help these soldiers really touched a chord.

We all have issues that we rally for. We all have some goal that we work for. But the spiritual power of women who get together to make a difference is a power that makes things happen.

My involvement in the political world has shown me this. I have seen the power of lobbyists - and it is a power to be contended with. Two of the most powerful organizations in the United States are Mother's Voices and Mother's Against Drunk Driving. Just the name alone of these organizations is so powerful, and the fact that it is mothers who are fighting disease and drunk driving lends a large measure of credibility.

One source of the power of women is a spiritual one. We are told that the Matriarch's prayed for their children. Particularly the Matriarch Rachel who still cries for her children to this day. Our sages tell us that not only does Rachel present the case of her children's suffering to G-d, she is the one who is answered.

Researching the Hafrashat Challah story brought me to two women in my very own neighborhood, the Crown Heights area of Brooklyn, Yael Leibovitch and Leah Silverstein. They have groups of 40 or more women who weekly dedicate the merit of their Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah to women who don't have children.

Speaking to Yael was quite an eye opener. Not only did I find out that there are other similar groups in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn and many other areas all over the world but also, that since they started their program over two years ago countless women have been helped. Women who had no children for 10 years and more have given birth after their plight was kept in mind as the merit of the women doing the special women's Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah.

My daughter is part of a group of women who do this same special thing for their classmates. Some of my daughter's classmates are not married and some don't have children. Those who are lucky enough to have both of those blessings pray for those who don't. They have witnessed the tremendous power of their prayers which have been answered when they have dedicated their Mitzvah to help others.

The Talmud tells us that the Jews were freed from Egypt in the merit of the women. And this is not the only place where great occurrences are attributed to the power of women. Throughout history women prayed and accomplished for others - acting as a powerful spiritual lobby. And we can take pride in the fact that it continues even today. To read about the Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah click here.

TUCOWS

This is the tale of two cows. These cows lived at around about the same time, in the same region. Our bovine heroes were related to each other, yet polar opposites. While one cow received all the bad press, the other became a hero.

The first cow, young and undisciplined, created a terrible mess. So, the older, mature cow had to step in and clean it all up. That wasn’t an easy task; the mess was so bad that it dirtied more than just the calf’s stable, it soiled the whole world. Cleaning such a mess should have been an impossible task, but this was an unusual cow- beyond anything we could comprehend. She hasn’t quite succeeded yet, but she’s getting there.

Come to shul tomorrow, and you can meet both cows.

The young, impetuous calf dragged the whole Jewish nation into a spiritual quagmire. We know him as the infamous Golden Calf, subject of this week’s Torah portion.

When G-d gave us the Torah at Sinai, He reverted us to “Garden of Eden” status. We were pure and immune to death. After the Golden Calf debacle, we reinstated our own misguided tendencies- and became prone to death again.

The mother cow empowered us to transcend death and reverse its negative side-effects. She introduced the supernatural tool of purification. To you and I, she is better known as the enigmatic Red Heifer, which we read about in the special maftir that’s added this week at Shul.

As the Midrash puts it: “A maid's child once dirtied the royal palace. Said the king: "Let his mother come and clean up her child's filth." By the same token, G-d says: "Let the Heifer atone for the deed of the Calf"

How the Red Heifer works is something we can never understand- it’s called a chok, a Torah commandment that has no rational basis.

Both cows are part of our daily spiritual experiences. We have our “Golden Calf” moments, when we lose sight of what we should be doing and err spiritually. Whenever we make a spiritual mistake, a part of our soul dies.

This sounds impossible to fix- “What’s done cannot be undone”.

So, G-d gives us the other cow, the one that doesn’t play by the rules. The Red Heifer is a chok, a ritual that we’ll never understand. We do it because G-d says so; because our commitment to Him is absolute.

We need our “Red Heifer” moments, times of total commitment to what a Jew should do, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. In those moments, we bring our soul back to life.

When the going gets tough...

Get your mask ready, Purim is upon us!

But, with all the festivity, frivolity and fressing, you wonder about the deeper significance of this seemingly raucous holiday.

Believe it or not, it's deep. So deep that most people miss it. "When one enters, secrets emerge", say the Kabbalists. When the whole festival is about wine, it must contain many spiritual secrets.

Here's one:

At the end of the Megillah, we're going to read a cryptic statement, "The Jews kept and accepted...". According to the Talmud, this means that we finally accepted the Torah that had been presented at Mt. Sinai centuries earlier. In other words, when the Jews committed to Torah in the presence of G-d, it wasn't good enough.

At first glance, this really makes no sense. The Jews who left Egypt were highly spiritual people. At Mt. Sinai, G-d Himself appeared and presented the Torah.

At the time of the Purim story, the Jews were not all that spiritual. When the king made a feast to celebrate the downfall of Jerusalem, they attended. Apparently, they were not very spiritually sensitive.

Instead of the miracles of Mt. Sinai, they were faced with the threat of a Holocaust. It seems odd that under such adverse circumstances, they would make a greater commitment than at one of the most powerful moments in history.

Actually, therein lies the message.

To commit to a Jewish lifestyle when G-d is "in your face", miracles are normal, your soul is on fire, and you're in the care of a spiritual giant like Moses, is no big deal.

To be proudly Jewish when life is tough and anti-Semitism is rife- that's an achievement.

Purim reminds us that it is the challenging moments in our lives that bring out the best in us. It teaches us to measure our spiritual progress by how we do when we're uninspired, not by how we achieve when times are good.

Now you can appreciate why the Talmud says, "A man is obligated to get drunk on Purim until he cannot tell the difference between 'Cursed is Haman' and 'Blessed is Mordechai'". This is not a call to drunken stupidity.

Rather, the Talmud wants us to realize that whether your internal Mordechai or your personal Haman is dictating your feelings; whether you're spiritually inspired or apathetic, you can always switch on your inner spirituality.

Have a great Purim!

(For more like this, visit http://tinyurl.com/ypgcnr)

I'm inspired and humbled

It's healthy to have a reality check once in a while.

We're all involved in doing good thingsand it's human nature to pat ourselves on the back for our achievements.

Occassionally you get to meet someone who is a real hero. You stand humbled; hopefully inspired.

I bumped a friend at a Barmitzvah tonight. We haven't seen each other in a few years, so we did some catch up.

He and his wife now live in Sumi, Ukraine (I had never heard of it either). They've finally got internet (it cuts out every other day), which is a good thing for their eight-year-old daughter. Now she can attend online classes and interact with half a dozen other girls her age on the web- her only Jewish friends. There is no Jewish school in the vicinity.

They milk a cow once a week to get kosher milk and bake their own bread. Meat gets delivered monthly from nearby Kharkov (a three-hour bump-ride).

There are no other religious Jews in Sumi. Most people who think they're Jewish are not. (Many of those convinced they are not, are). Most of the population lives below the bread line.

So why does my friend and his family live there?

Because there are Jews who don't know they are Jewish. Because there are Jews who need a soup kitchen. Because they are building a Sumi's first mikvah and Jewish pre-school (with what funds?).

Because they are Shluchim (emmissaries) of the Rebbe who care enough to live where the closest hospital is four hours away, and their children have no friends, and it's a three-hour commute to a mikveh, so they can help a few more Jews connect with their Judaism.

I stood humbled; hopefully inspired.

Half-wit

A friend of mine lent me a book this week.

It’s an architecture atlas that showcases amazing building projects from around the world. With building a new shul on my mind, I found it very interesting. There are some amazing architectural feats around the world, and some very bold projects.

China boasts striking, futuristic skyscrapers, while New York is planning its new WTC tower complex. In Dubai, they’re creating man-made islands that look like a world map (buy your piece of the planet) and at home in SA, we’re about to begin creating stadiums for the Soccer World Cup in 2010.

But, none of these projects is as ambitious as the one commissioned in this week’s Parsha. That project is beyond anything ever attempted- or even imagined- by humans. Ironically, the only way to complete that project is to be half-baked.

Unveiled in the blazing hot desert, with almost no available natural resources, Moses’ project called on the people to build a Home. The Home would be simple- only 500 square metres, comprising just two rooms and a courtyard.

The catch? This small place was to be G-d’s home.

Impossible? Yes.

Doable? Apparently.

To get the project off the ground, Moshe called on the people to donate their gold, silver, copper, precious stones and other materials. He also taxed them all with a half-shekel tax. This money would be used to maintain the Tabernacle, G-d’s home in the Universe.

With all that gold and silver, you wonder why he wanted half a shekel donation.

Jewish thought identifies a fundamental lesson in this. No individual can build G-d’s home. As long as you perceive yourself as “complete”, you lack the capacity to create a home for the Infinite. As soon as you realize that you are only part of the picture- half a shekel- and you need at least one other person as your partner in progress, then you can achieve G-d’s dream.

G-d’s home doesn’t only belong in the desert. Over time, Jews have been led to China, New York, even Dubai and certainly South Africa- to build homes for G-d in all these places. As skyscrapers and malls shoot up around in an unprecedented global construction boom, we need to remember our own unique project.

Wherever a Jew is, he/ she can- must- transform his/ her environment into a better, more spiritual place.

You cannot do it alone, you need to partner with every other Jew you know. When you recognize you’re a halfwit on by yourself, you take the first step to do the impossible.

Don't overload your donkey!

It's a rather common sight here in Joburg- a taxi zooming past with at least40% more load than it should have. The rear bumper is a millimeter from the ground as the daredevil driver zigzags through peak-hour traffic.


Apparently, this isn't a new phenomenon.


According to this week's Torah portion, overloaded donkeys were a problem in Biblical times. Such a problem, that the Torah tells us how to address it:


"If you see your enemy's donkey struggling under its load and you (want to) desist from assiting it, you shall surely help him."


Notice: Your enemy's donkey still needs your help.


Chamor- Hebrew for donkey- is strongly linked to Chomer, the Hebrew for matter.


This sheds a whole new light on the message of the donkey-overload, according to the Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Chassidic movement.


It means: As you grow spiritually, you might find your Chomer- your instinctive, physical self -taking strain. Each time you try to move forward, improve and transcend it cries "exhaustion".
Your body and its physical interests seem to interfere with your spiritual progresss. You are trying to rise, yet bogged down by the "enemy".


You might consider punishing your body, to speed the spiritual process. Fasting, derpriving yourself of sleep or ignoring your health may sound holy. All are wrong.


Says the Torah, "Help him". Work with your Chomer, inspire your Self to become your partner. When you know how to use a donkey, it can carry more than you can- for a farther distance.

Get attitude!

Most people I know want to grow spiritually. Maybe we all have different speeds we'd like to travel at, but the general direction is the same.

It gets frustrating when you're trying to develop, but keep slipping back into old habits. Sometimes it feels like one step forward, three steps back.

Here are four attitudes to look out for. Each of them is dangerous to personal development. They're all culled from one of Judaism's most important historic dramas- the splitting of the Red Sea.

As the world's mightiest army bore down on the Jews, trapped by the sea, four reactionary theories emerged.

One group said: "Let's rather jump into the sea!" They felt it better to commit suicide than to contemplate reverting to slavery.

Another said: "Let us surrender!". They believed that life as a slave better than no life.

The third crowd argued for a last-ditch fight against the advancing army.

And the last group figured the best response to crisis would be to pray.

None was right.

G-d refuted each argument by telling Moses: "Tell the people to march on!"

What a lesson in spiritual growth!

Torah, the ultimate book of life-lessons, predicts the course of each of our lives. We will all be inspired to leave our personal "Egypt" and embark on a journey of discovery. No sooner have we done so, we'll feel uncertain of our decision: The way forward looks impossible, and old habits are quite comfortable.

At that stage, if we adopt any of the four attitudes, we don't stand a chance.

Translated into personal terms:

1) "Dive into the deep-end of spirituality and never return to normal life." Judaism does not believe in ascetism or living the hermit-life. We were put on this Earth to inspire the world, not to run from it.

2) "Become a slave again". A healthy Jew cannot live on auto-pilot. It's not enough to engage the world (including its dark "Egypt" alleys) because you have to (but you'd rather be meditating). A Jew must at all times be full of life and enthusiasm.

3) "Go to war". Sometimes it feels holy to nitpick and get stuck on every spiritual issue until it's resolved. It's a noble idea, but you'll never move forward.

4) "Pray". When it's time to challenge yourself to move, it's not time to defer to G-d. Sure, we need His assistance every step of the spiritual road, but we cannot simply pass Him the buck.

When in spiritual crisis, get the right Jewish attitude: March on! As long as you have your personal Mt. Sinai in sight, keep moving towards it.

You'll be surprised how the whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.

BEWARE: Don't scratch!

Al Gore and his environmentalist colleagues could take a page out of our book. Judaism has got to be the only religion that dedicates a day as “Rosh Hashanah” for trees.

Tu Bishvat is not only a day to recall the value of trees in society. It is a day to reflect on the lessons that trees teach us about life. “For man is the tree of the field,” says the Torah. Chassidic teaching highlights various similarities between trees and people- each needs good roots, and should ultimately produce fruit.

Perhaps one of the most valuable lessons from a tree relates to bringing up children.

You often see people’s names etched on tree barks. “John was here”, “Suzy loves Mark”, it’s gross disrespect to the tree, but the tree will survive.

But, if you had to make a tiny scratch on a seed, the whole tree would grow scarred.

This is the difference between children and adults. As an adult, negative exposure or habits may not ruin you. A child, though, is highly impressionable. A small “scratch” on a child’s fertile mind can affect their life’s outlook.

Tu Bishvat reminds us to nurture our little saplings with care. We parents need to weed out the words our children should never hear. We must guide them in proper behaviour, etiquette and respect- mainly by setting a good example. We need to think carefully about the images we allow them to see and the role models (real or fictional) that we encourage them to emulate.

If we tend out little gardens with care, vigilance and lots of healthy spiritual supplements, we will enjoy beautiful trees in years to come.

In the dark

Last week's rolling blackouts across South Africa got many of us a little hot under the collar. It's frustrating to try work without power. It's more frustrating to try travel through intersections that are gnarled up because the traffic lights don't work.

What really got people fuming was the poor excuse offered by Eskom, the country's power supplier. Their contention was that growth in South Africa has progressed so rapidly, that they haven't yet created the infrastructure to deal with the country's energy needs.

What would they prefer? That the economy not grow? That we slowly slide into Third World status?

Every thinking person appreciates the nonsensical nature of this argument.

Unless, we are making it.

We often hear people complain about the load that their Jewish involvement places on them. They were originally happy to get involved in Jewish observance, but now find it tedious.

That's when people sometimes make the Eskomic error- instead of celebrating their growth, they start bemoaning their new energy tax. The next step could be to back-pedal and hope that less Jewish involvement might make life more manageable.

The answer is not to slide back spiritually, but to appreciate that growth needs investment.

Embrace progress, don't oppose it. It will illuminate your life.

Pharoah in Denial

Do you ever feel a twinge of idealism, a whisper of “I can do it”?

And, do you often find that small voice is drowned out by the cacophony of “no you can’t”?

“You’re too busy/ old/ tired/ stressed to do more than just survive”, your reality-check-system tells you.

“Focus on what you’ve got to do- earn a living, provide for your family, watch your health,” it continues, “One day, when things settle down, you can stop to meditate, to soar, to engage your spirit and live your dreams.”

We’ve all been given a tremendous resource- the Jewish soul. It is alive with possibility; it strains at the bit to transcend and transform. It whispers consistently that there are greater things we can achieve.

The soul’s optimism is cut short by the Voice of Reason, “Don’t waste your time with fantasies! This is the real world and you’re stuck in it, a hamster on a wheel. Nobody has escaped it and neither will you.”

This is life in Egypt.

“Let my people go” was not simply Moshe’s challenge to Pharaoh, it is the call of every Jewish soul.

Pharaoh was in denial: “I don’t know Hashem, and I will not let the People leave!” In Hebrew, the Torah emphasizes that he said, “I don’t know Havaye (the name spelled Yud-Hey-Vav-Hey). Pharaoh was prepared to acknowledge Elokim, the name of G-d that runs Nature. He accepted that humans can engage the Creator of the natural order. He refused to accept, however, that humans can tap into a supernatural reality, represented by Havaye.

His voice echoes in our minds still today. His is the voice that cajoles us into thinking we are stuck in the rat race like everyone else. Our inner Pharaoh leaves us in denial, believing that Hashem’s message for our spiritual liberation is fantasy.

Our challenge is to silence his cynicism, and listen to our inner voice. Our objective is to believe in our innate potential- and to realize it.

The journey out of Egypt begins with a single step.

Who's your boss?

Remember the story of the Jewish slaves in Egypt? Do you ever feel like you're slaving away?

We know that the Torah is not a history book, but a book of lessons. In fact, the first Chabad Rebbe recommended that we "live with the times" by analyzing the weekly Torah portion. Each week's story is the story of our lives- and usually perfectly timed.

Tomorrow's portion tells us how the Children of Israel became slaves in Egypt. Read a little closely, and you'll see that their main job was to build cities for Pharaoh. Even without the taskmasters, the lashes and the severe punishments, building cities for Pharaoh is not a job for a Jew. It's the antithesis of everything we stand for.

Jews were put on earth to build a home for G-d. He endowed us with special abilities, to transform the mundane world into a holy place.

Every Mitzvah that we do is a brick in that Divine structure. We become fulfilled each time we lay another spiritual brick.

Pharaoh is the Jew's nemesis. His kingdom is the whisper in our ear that life is all about the here and now; about cars and homes and salaries and designer labels. In his own words, Pharaoh announced to Moses: "I don't know G-d".

When we focus our energy solely on careers, money and prestife, we build Pharaoh-cities.

Ask yourself this question every once in the while: "Who is my boss? Do I invest my energies in realizing G-d's purpose for Creation, or do I work for Pharaoh?"

Are you ready to face another year?

Well, 2007 is upon us. For some it means new college courses, for others new jobs- and for most people more of the same.

After a good break, it's often a little difficult to get back into things. It was so relaxed and peaceful, we could do the things we enjoy. Now- back to the grindstone.

Give it a week and you'll hear people start complaining: "It feels like I was never away..."

How do you head back to work and not get bogged down?

Just the other day we read an important insight from the weekly Torah portion. When Jacob headed down to Egypt after discpvering that his long-lost son, Joseph, was there, it was a difficult move.

Jacob had lived in the serene, spiritual environment of Israel for two decades. Now, he had to migrate to Egypt, the land of restriction and spiritual darkness. He was that concerned about the move, that G-d had to reassure him it was ok to go.

So, before getting there, Jacob set a plan in motion that would protect him from being entrapped by Egypt. He sent his fourth son, Yehudah, to establish a Yeshivah.

With that, our forefather unveiled the secret of keeping your head above water: Before you get back into the rat race, set a time to learn Torah. Torah will empower you to overcome stress, boredom and the monotony of daily living.

So, before you get back into things, set up your personal "yeshivah". Commit to some regular Torah class(es) for 2007. It will add flavour to your year- and help you keep your head above water.

A matter of Perspective

I've just come across this article, it's an interesting perspective:

It's All a Matter of Perspective
Rabbi Shea Hecht, Chairman NCFJE

There are times that it's all a matter of perspective. Things that happen may
seem to be sending us one message, but with some analytical thinking we can see
through the façade and recognize their true colors.

Over Chanukah UPS refused to deliver packages to Jews in the West Bank and
Golan Heights. Because of the violence and mayhem in the Middle East, to many
that would seem like sound judgment, the problem is that they felt perfectly
comfortable delivering packages to Muslims in Arab areas, even in those areas
that are run by terrorists.

In an article titled "Package Apartheid: UPS is Official Delivery Service of
the Jihad", Debbie Schlussel wrote that a friend told her that UPS told her it
does not deliver packages beyond the green line. Additionally, UPS would not
deliver even to parts of Israel that are within the "Green Line," such as the
Golan Heights.

When UPS was called to verify the facts a worker read the following
statement: UPS service is provided to and from most addresses within Israel and
the Palestinian Authority area, except for Jewish settlements in the West Bank,
a few remote areas in the Golan Heights, and the Southern Negev desert. He then
confirmed that though the above-mentioned Jewish areas were "undeliverable", one
could send a package to "Palestinian" areas of the West Bank, to terrorist
infested Ramallah and to Arab areas in the Golan Heights.

When asked for a reasonable explanation for this differentiation between the
Jewish and Muslim areas, the UPS worker said that packages could not be sent to
the Jewish areas "for security reasons. It's dangerous there." Since Palestinian
areas are well known for their anti-Western violence that reasoning is almost
laughable.

This revelation engendered quite a bit of anger towards UPS including a
proposed boycott of their services and the use of (German owned!) DHL instead,
with Ms. Schlussel going so far as to say that UPS stands for United Palestinian
Service.

However, a little perspective changes UPS's actions from negative to
positive. For the longest time Jews have been pleading for someone - anyone - to
acknowledge what we all know. Simply put, though they protest otherwise, the
Muslims are safe in their own little towns. It's the Jewish areas that are not
safe. It's the Jews who have the Kassams rained down on them daily, who are in
danger from the cowardly suicide bomber or deadly intruders onto their land and
property. There is no need to be upset at UPS because they are validating what
we all know is true - that the Jewish areas simply need more protection.

I think the story should be publicized, but only to prove our point. Jewish
areas are not protected. They are so unsafe that even UPS won't go there for
fear of sharing in the violence that is perpetrated on the Jews in those areas.

Saddam & Moshiach?

This is something really interesting:

As Jews, we believe emphatically that nothing happens by chance. The timing of every event is precise and fits the Divine master plan.

So, when the Iraqi courts chose to execute Saddam on the day before the fast of the Tenth of Tevet, it got me thinking.

There are a number of fasts scattered throughout the Jewish year. 10th Tevet is one of the more serious fasts. If it falls on a Friday, you still fast, even though you are normally forbidden from fasting just before Shabbos.

10th Tevet commemorates when Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon's troops laid siege to Jerusalem. Seven months later, they destroyed Judaism's holiest site, the Temple. In a sense, the 10th of Tevet marks the beginning of that destruction and even of the subsequent destruction of the second Temple by the Romans over 400 years later. That's why it is an extra bad day on our calendar.

When Moshiach comes, each of the year's fasts will become holidays. Logically, the fast that represents the start of all the negativity is the first one that needs to go. (In fact, the Lubavitcher Rebbe explained this process at length on 10th Tevet 1991.)

How is the fast of Tevet "reversed"? Consider the following:

Saddam Hussein considered himself the Nebuchadnezzar's heir, sworn to complete the mission of destroying Israel.

"Nebuchadnezzar stirs in me everything relating to pre-Islamic ancient history.
And what is most important to me about Nebuchadnezzar is the link between the
Arabs' abilities and the liberation of Palestine. Nebuchadnezzar was, after all,
an Arab from Iraq, albeit ancient Iraq. … That is why whenever I remember
Nebuchadnezzar I like to remind the Arabs, Iraqis in particular, of their
historical responsibilities. It is a burden that should… spur them into action
because of their history." (Fuad Matar, Saddam Hussein: A Biographical and Ideological Account of His Leadership Style and Crisis Management)

In the late 1980s he promoted the Iraqi Arts Festival called "From Nebuchadnezzar to Saddam Hussein." He also had a replica of Nebuchadnezzar's war chariot built and had himself photographed standing in it. He ordered images of himself and Nebuchadnezzar beamed, side by side, into the night sky over Baghdad as part of a laser light show. And he spent millions rebuilding the ancient site of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar's capital city.

When Saddam attacked Kuwait in 1990, the Rebbe referred to an ancient Midrash that predicts how the "king of Persia" will attack an Arabic king and throw the world and Israel into confusion. Persia, Babylon, Iraq- are all really the same region. The Midrash concludes that the entire episode is a prologue to Moshiach.

So:

• In Moshiach's time fast days become happy days,
• It all begins with converting the 10th of Tevet (source of all negativity),
• The 10th of Tevet is the day that Babylon rose up against Jerusalem,
• Saddam saw himself as the scion of Nebuchadnezzar,
• Saddam is executed the day before 10th Tevet and buried on the day itself!

Sounds like an important message from the "Big Boss"...

Modern Macabees

I can just imagine the scene at the Temple in Jerusalem at the time of Chanukah. Having just defeated the mighty Greek-Syrian army, the Macabees were keen to light the Menorah. To their dismay, they found that all the olive oil had been defiled and wasn't ideal for Menorah-lighting purposes.

While those dedicated souls searched for pure oil, there were probably bystanders who thought they were wasting their time.

"There is no pure oil! Can't you see, any vestige of original oil has been destroyed? You're wasting your time!"

The Macabees taught us that- if you search hard enough, you can find pure oil in the most unlikely places.

Today's Macabees search the alleys of Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam, the backwaters of Iowa and hostels, retirement homes, prisons and college campuses from Honolulu to Hobart, looking for pure oil.

They are Chabad emissaries, who refuse to accept that the pure oil of the Jewish soul can ever be truly tainted. And, so they keep searching.

And they find.

They find wholesome Jewish souls in the most unlikely places; souls that burst alight when touched.

Every Jew can be a Macabee. Perhaps you know someone who feels "they have no pure oil left". Hold out a Jewish light to them- or even to yourself.

If you really believe the pure soul is there, you will see miracles.

Happy Chanukah!

Borat got it wrong...

Even in Kazakhstan!

Click here to find the public Menorah lightings this year in Kazakhstan.

And for the lightings that Chabad hosts at another 428 cities around the world, click here.

What are you afraid of?

I've just read an interesting CNN/Time article about how people worry about things that will never affect them, but ignore what actually threaten their lives.

For example: People worry about Mad Cow disease, while munching on a cholesterol-laden hamburger (cholestrol that kills 700 000 Americans annually).

While in the States 10 days ago, I came across courses for people who are afraid to fly (I thankfully, don't have that problem). "Aviophobia" is highly common, even though many more people die in car accidents than in air disasters.

Which shows that it's human nature to focus on "big" things, and overlook the "small" things that really make a difference to our lives.

I think that may well be one message from last week's Torah portion.

We read that Ya'akov (Jacob) had lived away from home for 20 years. His vengeful brother, Eisav (Esau), still had it in for him at home, so Jacob wasn't rushing back.

Suddenly, after the birth of his 11th son Yosef (Joseph), Ya'akov announces that it's time to head home. Rashi- the famous commentary- explains that with Yosef's birth, Ya'akov felt empowered to confront his belligerent older brother.

Hold on a moment! Ya'akov's older sons included Reuven, named for his powerful spiritual insight; Levi, father of the priestly tribe of kohanim; Yehudah, antecedent of all Jewish kings, inlcuding Moshiach and Gad, Dan & Naftali all mighty warriors. What was special about Yosef that inspired more confidence in Ya'akov than the others?

As we know, Torah is a book of lessons, not history. Yosef's name means "to add". This is the story of how to stand up to Eisav. Be it the anti-Semitic Eisav "out there" or the "internal" personal Eisav voice that obstructs our spiritual progress. The response to either of them is the same.

Unlike the popular notion that you need to wait until you "gain spiritual insight", "are fully dedicated to G-d" or "experience a revelation", all you really need is a small "Yosef".

Eisav is empowered when we are spiritually static. Each small step we take forward is an real victory for Judaism, for Light and for your soul.

One small mitzvah for man is a giant leap for humankind.

100% pure- nothing less

We all know the Chanukah story.

Or, do we?

Here are some of the misconceptions:
1) There was no oil to be found anywhere in the Temple. The miracle was that they managed to find one small jug- just in time to light the Menorah.

Actually, the place was full of jugs of oil; it's just that not one of them still carried the seal of the Kohen Gadol (High priest), so they were technically impure. The miracle was that they eventually found one jug of pure oil.

Which brings us to the next misconception...

2) It is Halachically unacceptable to use impure oil to light the Menorah in the Temple.

In truth, there is Halachic provision for using impure oil for the Menorah, if there is no pure oil available.

What then- you ask- was the big deal about not finding oil with the special seal?

The Hellenist attack against Judaism focused on our absolute, often irrational commitment to Hashem and His Torah. They couldn't accept that we wouldn't do away with those areas of Judaism that seem to simply make no sense. That's why they attacked the seals on the oil- the sign of spiritual purity, which they claimed was imagined. They expected us to level with them and acknowledge only the logical aspects of Jewish life.

But, a Jew's relationship with Hashem is absolute. It begins at eight-days old, before the rational mind is activated, and sits at the essence of his/her Self until our their breath. A Jews and his religion can never be separated. Jew and G-d share a super-rational bond.

Chanukah illustrates this bond. Even when there is rational basis within Judaism to settle for a compromised connection to G-d, the Jewish soul insists that nothing less than the absolute purest expression of that bond will do.

And, when you commit yourself to G-d unconditionally, miracles occur.

Dancing at the Rebbe

It was a powerful week at the International convention of Shluchim (Chabad rabbis). On the Saturday night, we were waiting outside the Rebbe's room, with people from around the world.

The atmosphere was electric and we soon found ourselves in a spontaneous dance.

Click here for the a glimpse of the power: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1849347583934831332&q=rebbe%27s+room

What a privelege!

It's just after midnight here in New York. I should be exhausted (that's what my body's telling me), but the dancing won't stop.

We- 6 members of our shul and myself- have just come back from an amazing dinner or, as they call it here, Gala Banquet. It was the climax of a weekend conference for Chabad representatives from around the world.

It's been a non-stop 4 days and sleep hasn't featured too prominently on the agenda. I heard someone crystalise it quite aptly: "The agenda for the Jewish world was set here this weekend".

Our group had pizza with the Chief rabbi of Russia and Shabbos lunch with the Chabad representatives to The White House, Lithuania and Bangkok. We farbrenged with an 89 year-old veteran chosid Rabbi (Yosef) Wineberg and again, 'till 3am, on Shabbos with a group from Dallas, Texas. We were addressed by the rabbis of Shanghai and the Golan heights.

We visited the Ohel (resting place of the Rebbe), one of the most powerful places on earth, where we had the unique privelege of delivering letters from many friends back home.

All that (and much more) culminated in tonight's dinner. It's a soul-battery recharge that every person should experience at least once.

It is totally energising to sit in a hall of 3500+ men, all focused on the same mission- to bring Jews closer to their roots and pave the way for Moshiach. We heard incredible speakers, saw inspiring video-presentations and danced together with Jews from Guadelope, Vietnam, New Zealand, Vancouver and everything in between.

Still dancing on the inside, I thank Hashem for the privelege to be part of the Rebbe's army.

Special Shiur Subject Survey

BH, the Monday night shiur has now been around for 3 years!

Thank you to all of you who have loyally participated, added insight encouraged the shiur's growth.
Now I'm at the "thinking ahead" stage for next year. So, I figured, you may as well have your say. Here's your chance- take a moment and submit your suggestions for topics (individual or series) for next year.

Who knows? You may well become a significant contributor to what happens from January 2007!

Bring our sons back

We had a very moving presentation last night at the weekly shiur from Gadi Goldwasser. Gadi's older brother, Ehud, was kidnapped on the Israel-Lebanon border by Hizbullah terrorists on July 12th.

To date, the family still have no idea of his- or his colleagues'- whereabouts and state of health.

Please take a moment and add your voice, in prayer and in petition, to the call for their unconditional safe return.

Visit www.habanim.org for details and to participate.

May we see the return of all Israel's missing children very soon.

REBUILDING A SHATTERED WORLD

While the story of Noach and the Flood clearly takes centre stage in the Torah reading this week (it’s probably one of the best-known Bible stories), there’s another significant story that we tend to overlook.

The Torah describes how, not long after the devastation of the Flood, people united to rebuild the world. They all gathered in a valley- in what would today be Iraq- and started an ambitious construction project. “Let us build a city, with a tower reaching the Heavens”, they declared.

I suppose, theirs would be a logical response to a post-destruction generation. Build a secure environment where you can be protected and not face the annihilation that others had before. Surely we should applaud their efforts to rebuild the world, to rise from the ashes (or perhaps, in this case, the mud).

Yet, Hashem was not pleased with these people and their project. He “came down” to observe what was happening and immediately intervened. He didn’t destroy the people, mind you, just the project. Where there had been unity and collaboration, Hashem created division. He seprated them into 70 groups, each with its own language and culture. The resulting mayhem brought the building of the Tower of Babel to a grounding halt.

What had they done wrong?

When you re-read the story, you’ll discover that their motivation for building the tower was “to make a name for ourselves”.

They still had fresh memories of a depraved generation; people bad enough that Hashem needed to destroy them. Their own focus should have been on building morality. Instead, they chose to create a legacy for themselves.

The Torah is a lesson book for our lives. Here the message is particularly relevant to us. As a post-Holocaust generation, we feel the urge to make a name for ourselves, to show the world that we are secure in our land and nationhood, so they shouldn’t think they can attack us.

Instead, Torah teaches that our most appropriate response is to create a “city for Hashem”. Rather than invest our efforts in rebuilding material structures, we need to work to build spirituality, morality and ethics. This approach forms the foundation for a successful, stable world.

Can you trust a woman?

We've just read the story of Adam, Eve, the Serpent and the forbidden fruit. G-d chastises Adam for having eaten transgressed His command and Adam replies: "She made me do it!"

For many people, the Torah portrays Eve (and all women) as fickle and gullible and dragging men down with them in their dodgy exploits.

You'd be surprised then to see how G-d instructed Moses to deal with teaching Torah to the people. At Mt. Sinai, G-d tells him to address the women first.

The Zohar, Judaism's fundamental Kabbalistic work, makes a startling observation about this. When G-d gave his first commandment to people, He addressed the man in the story and relied on him to convey the message to the woman.

It didn't work.

While G-d had said don't eat from the tree, Adam felt he needed to tell his wife not to touch the tree. It was to be a disastrous precaution. The snake pushed Eve against the tree saying "You see, you touched it and didn't die; if you eat it's fruit, you won't die either". We all know what happened next.

So, when it came to entrusting humans with His Divine plan for the world, G-d told Moses to instruct the women first.

G-d says: "If the women have the facts, I can rely on them to keep the men on track too".

Failure?

Freshly inspired by the special period of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkos and Simchas Torah, we read the first portion of the Torah- Bereishis.

Chassidim say that Shabbos Bereishis sets the tone for the New Year. It’s really the first “normal” Shabbos of the year and the opportunity to translate the upliftment of the Yom Tov season into real life.

Which is why it makes sense to read the story of Creation at this time. We are in the process of re-creating our world for another year, full of promise and possibility. The story of G-d’s original Creation should provide a good model for us to emulate.

What does not make sense is why we start the year- and the translation of inspiration into action- by reading a story of dramatic human failure.

Here is the story of the first human, created by G-d’s own hand and imbued with the greatest sense of Divine inspiration. G-d gave this archetypal man a single instruction: “Do whatever you want, just don’t eat from the Tree of Knowledge”. Our Sages understand that, after a mere three hours, Shabbos would have entered and the prohibition would have lapsed.

Adam failed.

What message does that give us? Adam was fashioned by Hashem’s own hand. He had an acute awareness of G-d at all times and received just one, short-term instruction straight from the Divine. Yet, knowing the dire consequences of his actions, he still messed up!

We are simple people. We don’t talk to G-d on a regular basis, and certainly don’t have Him talk to us too often. We have a long list of time-consuming and often inconvenient observances to follow. Our negative voice lives comfortably inside and appears far more alluring than Adam’s serpent did. Do we have any chance of not failing?

Why does the Torah begin with such a depressing message?

Nobody’s perfect

We all make mistakes and we hate them. Some of us get depressed over our failures. This might be because we take ourselves too seriously. We expect perfection of ourselves; when we behave less than perfectly, instead of realizing that we have failed, we think we are a failure.

That is precisely what Hashem wants us to know from the outset: He designed humans to fail. We will fail more often than we succeed.

And that’s ok.

Had Hashem wanted a perfect world, He would have stopped creating after He made the angels. Angels and perfection are not the goal of Life, though. He wants humans, He wants our foibles and weaknesses; our failures and mistakes. He loves us for our mess-ups.

More importantly, He’s designed us to achieve real growth out of error. In Torah terms, we call that yeridah tzorech aliyah or descent for the sake of ascent. In simple terms, sometimes you have to go backwards to be able to go forward.

As we get a fresh start on a new year, Torah wants us to know that the only real failure is if you get stuck in failure. The moment you grow from a negative experience, you fulfill the ultimate purpose for which humans were created- to transform adversity and darkness into success and light.

Getting drunk this Simchas Torah? Not!

Hopefully you're ready for the Simchas Torah marathon...

Not the drinking endurance-challenge, though. Yes, I know many people think that "getting shikker" is the mitzvah of the day (every year, I get the post-Yom Tov boasts of which shul had the most "casualties"). And yes, you do need a lechaim or two to get you going, but that's not the focus of Simchas

Simchas Torah is about losing yourself in unmitigated joy, dancing and celebration. You should dance so hard that you lose all sense of who's watching, what they're thinking, what time it is or how tired you may be.

Most of us find it easier to sit in shul for hours while fasting, than to experience the reckless abandon of true simcha. It certainly looks more spiritually valuable to sit and pray than it does to spin around in circles.

Wanna know the truth? That's exactly the point.

Powerful spiritual experiences don't make sense. Souls don't make sense. When your soul talks, your mind goes quiet.

Simchas Torah is one of the unique times of year when the deepest point of our souls comes to life. It overrides our rational voice and gives us access to absolute joy- even if our mind insists that we cannot be happy.

People who overdo the drinking don't stand a chance of achieving this deeply spiritual experience- they're simply knocked out of commission.

What we should do is take the Simchas Torah challenge: To let go of who we imagine ourselves to be and what we feel is wrong in our lives, and to be happy.

When we're joyous for no particular reason, other than that Hashem commands us to be, He smiles down at us and says "Now, I will give you reason to be joyous throughout the coming year".

What you (don't) need to be happy

Happy Sukkos!

Have you ever wondered about it? It really doesn't seem to make sense.

For 7 days, we effectively move out of home and take up residence in a makeshift booth. During the day, it's swelteringly hot and at night chilly-to-cold or rainy. In the northern hemisphere, it's freezing.

So here's what seems to make no sense: The Yom Tov that's celebrated by scooping palm bits from your drink and swatting flies/bees/mozzies, while balancing on a rock-hard plastic chair that's teetering on an uneven floor- is called the festival of our rejoicing.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to reserve this title for Pesach, when you recline on a plump cushion and have someone else pour your drink?

How can the Torah expect us to leave our creature comforts and still be happy? Not just happy- the Torah says this is the festival when we must be happy 24/7 for 7 days (Ach Sameach in the original Hebrew).

Well actually, that's the point.

We have been convinced by TV talk-shows, glossy magazines, therapists and retailers that "if we have _____", we will be happy. It's a fundamentally wrong attitude.

Torah wants us to realize- and to experience first hand for one week a year- that you don't need anything to be really happy. In fact, you could be totally happy in a rickety home, exposed to the elements- secure in the knowledge that Hashem is looking after you and looking out for you.

Shana Tovah 5767

As we stand on the threshold of the New Year, may Hashem grant us all a year filled with blessing beyond our greatest expectations!

May it be a year of only good news, good health, peace of mind and enough money to keep us satisfied and not enough to make us crazy : )

May this be the year when Hashem unveils His ultimate purpose for the world- the coming of Moshiach!

How to know if you are ready for Rosh Hashanah

I’ve spent the last few days asking people: “Are you ready for Rosh Hashanah?” The answers have been varied and interesting.

One woman told me that she still had to attend to plenty of catering. Another person said that preparing for Yom Tov was his wife’s department. One or two people exclaimed “Oops, I forgot to tell you to book me a seat!” A particularly honest person admitted that, if it would be Pesach next week, he would be just as ill-prepared as he is for Rosh Hashanah.

Inviting guests, ordering food, organising shul seats and sending Shana Tovah cards are all integral parts of the preparation for this special time.

Even more important, is the internal preparation that we should do to ensure that we will maximise the opportunity Hashem offers us on the days that formulate the coming year.

So, how do you tell if you are spiritually ready for Rosh Hashanah?

Obviously, some extra davening, another shiur and some unplanned mitzvahs all help. But, how do you know if you’ve done enough? How can you tell if Hashem will look at you in a good light when He allocates the blessings for the New Year?

Our sages sum it up succinctly in “Pirkei Avos”: “One who is pleasing to his fellow men, is pleasing to G-d. But one who is not pleasing to his fellow men, is not pleasing to G-d.”

It’s that simple. If people like you, Hashem likes you. All the meditation, prayer and study that you do really becomes meaningful when it translates into treating people well.

As the Baal Shem Tov used to say: “Love of a fellow is the first gate leading into the palace of G-d.”

Don't forget to get new clothes for Yom Tov!

There are only 13 shopping days left ‘till Rosh Hashanah!

That’s big news for us Jews, who all feel obliged to get new outfits in honour of the Rosh Hashanah. After all, we all want to step into the New Year in style.

If you’d like to know the truth, our annual fashion binge has a unique spiritual source. Jewish law considers it a mitzvah to buy new clothing for Yom Tov (good news for the ladies).

A little deeper than that: Jewish mysticism explains how your soul needs clothes. Just as you need to be dressed to go out and interact within society, your soul needs clothes to interface with the world.

In his magnum opus, Tanya, the Alter Rebbe (first Rebbe of Chabad) writes that the “garments” of the soul are thought, speech and action. Without these facilities, your soul is captive in an unresponsive human suit. Thinking, speaking and doing are the tools that a soul uses to affect the world.

Each Rosh Hashanah offers you an opportunity to become a new person. Not in the glib, clichéd sense, but in real terms. Rosh Hashanah is an opportunity to confront your personal weaknesses and internal struggles- and to beat them.

The first step in that direction is to get new clothes. You need to consider how you can upgrade the way you think, refine the way you talk and do a little more good. When you kit your soul out properly out, it feels refreshed and energized. Then you are ready to move forward in leaps and bounds.

Oh- and by the way, there’s a great sale on soul fashion at Chabad at the moment…

Wishing you a good Yom Tov and a blessed year!

Upgrade your security

One thing about living in Johannesburg, is that we all know about security. High walls, electric fences and armed response have all become part of “normal” Joburg life.

What’s interesting is that, centuries ago, ancient Jewish towns had similar security systems in place. Even more interesting is that these safety measures were mandatory. “Shoftim ve’Shotrim”, the Torah instructs us to place judges and policeman at all “your” gates, meaning those of every Jewish city.

On closer inspection, though, it turns out that regular security is the easy part. “Your gates” also refers to the entry points to a human being- your eyes, ears and mouth.

It’s relatively easy to identify who shouldn’t enter your property- and to keep them out. It’s a real challenge to decide what doesn’t belong in your head- and even more challenging to keep it out.

This is why it’s no accident that we read this parsha just as the month of Elul begins. Elul is a time for a little more spiritual caution than usual. Rosh Hashana is just around the corner and it’s time to get into gear.

For the next 30 days, we should be vigilant about the sort of things we let ourselves see (not every TV show carries the Beth Din stamp), hear (avoid “did-you-hear” stories) and eat (30 days dedication to kashrut can’t hurt).

I sincerely believe that when we enter Rosh Hashanah more spiritually secure than usual, Hashem will gladly bless us with personal security for the coming year.

Dating- a dangerous game?

The advisory on dating should read: "WARNING- DATING MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP".

Nowadays, we spend longer than ever "getting to know each other" before settling into a long-term commitment (a.k.a. the M-word). Our liberal thinking encourages us to be open in and about our relationships. We have access to a wealth of articles, books, websites and TV shows that deal with relationships.

Yet, we see a particularly poor success rate. Break-ups are the norm and divorce rates have skyrocketed.

You know what they say, "If it isn't working- try something else".

Luckily, as Jews, we have access to methods that have stood the test of time. We are fortunate to have guidance on how to build a meaningful relationship, without much of the hurt and confusion that accompanies the conventional dating process.

Imagine you had some money and wanted to find someone with business experience to partner with on a new venture. Would you choose a partner suggested by your great-aunt (Boy, do I have a business partner for you...) and see if it develops into anything serious?

Would you ask a fellow to come over and fix your PC because you “spotted him at a bar after a few drinks and “he looked really nerdy”?

Many people think more carefully before signing a cell-phone rental contract than they do before investing time and emotion in a potential life's partner.

Why? People have a strong impulse to seek a partner. Evolutionists will tell you that it’s survival instinct. Judaism says otherwise.

Have you ever wondered why G-d first created Adam and then made Eve from his “rib”? Surely, the All-powerful could have just created a human couple, as He made male and female versions of every other living species.

G-d wanted us to realize that without a partner, we’re missing an intrinsic part of who we are. This creates the urgency within humans to find our “missing” part. Subconsciously, we feel anxious to find this “missing part” and we might jump at every “suggestion”, “phone number” or “good looking person” we encounter.

Choosing your life's partner is probably the biggest decision you'll ever make. It’s serious business, and a casual approach is counter-productive. You need to devise a dating-strategy and minimise your personal investment until you know that this is something worth pursuing.

So, here are a few pointers for a spiritual dating strategy:

1) Get serious. Appreciate how important this process is, and treat it with the proper respect. You'll have plenty of opportunity to enjoy life; don't compromise long-term happiness with "fun".

2) Research. Discreetly, find out some objective information about the prospective guy/girl. Do they share similar ideologies with you? What's their family like? What do their friends say about them? Are they ready to settle down?

3) Use your head. Feelings can be really tricky. People often tell me how they feel that everything is "right" about their partner, but they don't have "strong feelings". You may have had an expectation of what you would feel when you found the right person. Now, you're worried, because you're not feeling that way. Don't panic. Use your head and assess: Are the values and character traits that I'm looking for there? Is there a good reason I should not pursue this relationship?
Then make an objective, thought-through decision.

4) Look for guidance. Often, the problem is that your head is just as muddled as your heart. Find someone you respect and can trust, who knows you well and who has more experience than you do. Use that person as a sounding board to see if your fears/ expectations/ excitement are justified.
An objective opinion is very reassuring when you are caught up in the blur of emotion.

5) Connect to your soul. If you're working on discovering your soul mate, make sure that your soul is in gear. Judaism believes that marriage reunites two parts of a single soul. The more in touch you are with your soul, the easier it will be to detect your other half. Spiritual dating includes being extra focused on prayer, torah study and doing mitzvos during the dating period.

Of course, you can never "go it alone" anyway. An additional bit of Torah, prayer or mitzvah observance gets Hashem on your side. Then dating becomes advantageous to your relationship.

Is your relationship "looking up"?

Yesterday was "Tu B'Av", a day long associated in Jewish tradition with matchmaking and marriage.

The Mishna describes how the day was celebrated in days of olde:

On this day, the maidens of Jerusalem would go out, dance in the vineyards and look for suitors.

They would say: "Young man, raise your eyes and see which you select for
yourself...."

What would the beautiful ones among them say? "Look for beauty, for a woman is for beauty."

What would those of prestigious lineage say? "Look for family, for a woman is for children."

What would the ugly ones say? "Make your acquisition for the sake of Heaven, as long as you decorate us with jewels"

Besides story-telling, the Talmud wants to teach what the primary ingredients for a successful marriage are.

1) "Raise your eyes", the dancing maidens call out. Your first step to building a successful relationship is to "lift your eyes"- to change perspective. People tend to be attracted to physical appearance, money or self-serving interests in a relationship. So, the wise girls of Jerusalem remind us, "Lift your eyes" and look for lasting and meaningful values and traits in your partner.
2) The beautiful girls suggest that "a woman is for beauty". Judaism doesn't buy into the glossy magazine or Hollywood version of beauty. Not to say that looks are unimportant, but they're not the make-it-or-break-it of relationships.

True beauty, according to Jewish mysticism, is spiritual beauty. Someone who is a mentsch, a good person who exudes kindness and good traits, is called beautiful. Physical beauty may fade, spiritual beauty will mature.

For the single looking to marry, the first thing to look for is "beauty"- is the person a mentsch?

For the married couple, to test if your marriage is headed in the right direction, ask yourselves "Are we making each other more beautiful- more mentsch-like?". A good marriage breeds personal development in both parties.

3) Family. Unquestionably, Judaism places a premium on family and children. We all want the best for our children, in fact, we'd like them to be even better than we are. I often encounter couples who are not very religious but want their children to have a religious education.

Children need a family environment that supports the theoretical messages that their parents and (parents' choice of) teachers preach. Even before the children arrive on the scene, a couple needs to ensure that the family that they envisage and the values that they aspire towards, are already being developed.

4) The "ugly". Every marriage has its ugly moments- stress, arguments, challenges. The real test of a marriage depends on how successfully a couple deals with its "ugly" moments.

Here the Talmud tells us, "Marry for the sake of heaven". Sound like a tall order? Almost like "close your eyes and accept what comes your way"?

Actually, it's the most solid marriage advice anyone could ask for.

When the going gets tough and a couple gets caught up in the cycle of accusation, guilt and blame, they need to remember to "marry for the sake of heaven".

Simply put: When you feel the urge to "have the last word" or "just put the record straight", remember that this is not about "me" vs. "you", it's about "our" marriage, which is larger than both of us. It's not a matter of being "right", it's a matter of keeping the marriage alive and growing.

Instead of basing your retort on what you "have to say", stop for a moment and consider "is this next move/remark/retort going to be good for our marriage". If it isn't, keep quiet.

When you and your partner master this skill, you are well on your way to happiness.

And to master this skill, you need to raise your eyes.

What goes down must come up

It's that time of the year here in the Southern Hemisphere when we start looking for the first signs of spring. Johannesburg winters are relatively mild, but we prefer the "Sunny South Africa" experience.

Sure enough, the first buds and blossoms appeared a few days ago and the temperatures began to rise. "Spring's here", we all thought, "and, thankfully, it wasn't even such a cold winter".

Then, out of the blue, the mercury dropped suddenly and we were hit with a freezing Tisha B'Av (admittedly, making the fast a little easier...).

It was icy and bitter and thoughts of Spring were placed on hold- not dissolved, just postponed. In a country that's warm for some 300 days a year we know that "when the mercury goes down, it must come up".

Quite apt for this time of the year.

Tisha B'Av marks the lowest point on the Jewish calendar, the day when we commemorate all the terrible things that have affected our nation over time. It's the Jewish national "down in the dumps" day.

But we don't get stuck there. Just a few days after Tisha B'Av, we celebrate Tu B'Av, a day the Talmud designates as one of the two happiest days on the Jewish calendar.

This is the "Yeridah tzorech aliyah" principle, or "whatever goes down must come up". Judaism believes that every fall prepares us for a greater rise. Every failure is the fertilizing of new achievement; every difficult time, the making of a new miracle.

It's more poignant this year, with Israel fighting for its life during this period of national mourning. Some people may have read that as bad news (G-d forbid) - "Tisha B'Av" 2006. Please G-d, we hope it's really just a short-term downer that will be the catalyst for a surge of good, peace and security in our Holy Land and its surrounds.

What an amazing people we are

Here's a really nice article that someone sent me the other day. Kiryat Shmona is one of the towns in Israel hardest hit by Katyusha rockets.

Kiryat Shmona's 'finest hour'
By DAN IZENBERG

"One day," said Motti Avraham, owner of the Mor Minimarket near the southern entrance to the city, "two elderly men walked into my store. I could tell they were from Jerusalem by their accents. One of them asked me if I sold on credit. I said I did. Then he asked me whether some of my clients were poor. I said they were.
"He told me to take out my list of people who owed and mark those who were poor. After I did that, he turned to the other man and said, 'Take it out.' The other man took out a wad of crisp NIS 200 bills. He then began to give me NIS 300 for each of the people I had ticked off and told me to deduct the money from their debt.
"I asked them who they were. They replied, 'What difference does that make?' Then I asked them to at least give me their phone numbers so that their beneficiaries could thank them. They replied that the greatest mitzvah is when the donor does not know whom he has given to."

The truth about Israel

Just come across an interesting site with a spiritual take on Israel, based on classical Jewish sources and primarily the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

visit http://www.thetruthaboutisrael.org/