Are you being followed?

Last week, a friend of mine stopped at a tyre outlet for a routine tyre-swap on his car. When he returned to his vehicle, he immediately noticed that his iPad was gone from the passenger seat, where he thought he had left it. Unconcerned, and figuring he may have moved it unwittingly and forgotten where he'd put it, he flipped on his iPhone and launched the "Find my iPad" app. The GPS-based programme quickly indicated that his iPad was on the move. My friend jumped into his car, chased his iPad and soon caught up with it, in someone else's car. Can you imagine the thief's surprise when the iPad's owner arrived at his car-window, discovered the iPad that he'd been sitting on and demanded an explanation? He couldn't fathom what had blown his cover.


I've recently noticed a slew of news stories about laptop thieves getting bust by the computer's owners remotely activating their laptop's camera to expose the thief. Either GPS or IP-logon tracking then allow the cops to know who to apprehend and where. 


George Orwell's "Big brother" is coming to life. In 1949, when he wrote the classic, people could conceive of a dominating regime that would spie on its citizens. But, could they have envisaged a world where everyone tracks everyone? Even Orwell could not have imagined the ever-exposed world of reality TV, paparazzi and social networking. Neither did he imagine a world of satellite tracking or a personal digital history. In his day there was no technology that could have recorded billions of people's movements. The sheer manpower needed to implement Thought Police would have, in reality, been prohibitive. 


Logically, a super-snooper society would have had to focus its attention on "people of interest", potential revolutionaries, insurgents, terrorists or criminals. Essentially, the CIA, Mossad or KGB did just that. They honed their skill, technology and personnel on tracking "valuable" targets. Tabloid media focused their time and attention on politicians, celebs, tycoons and socialites. And the ordinary person remained anonymous.


As Thomas Carlyle noted, "The history of the world is but the biography of great men". Or, at least, interesting people.


Not anymore. You no longer need to be someone significant to have your life tracked. Your phone, your car's GPS, online travel plans, Twitter, Facebook, Google searching  and a dozen other technologies ensure that your activities are recorded. Some experts even warn that people may one day want to create a new personal identity to escape their embarrassing online activity as youngsters. That's how it is nowadays. You probably don't even realise it, but just about everything that you do is recorded somewhere in the great digital cloud. It could come back to bite you at any time.


2000 years ago, the Talmudic sages already knew this. Ok, they didn't have Internet, credit card trails or GPS, but they did know that the Great Database In The Heavens records every move each of us makes. It's all stored on a server that never crashes. 


One day, G-d will tap on your window and confront whatever secrets you're sitting on. Make sure your record looks good, or you may be as flummoxed as the fellow who stole my friend's iPad and is still wondering how on earth he traced him.

Family planning- an inspiration

It all depends on how you see it

Life depends on how you see it. Even if f that sounds daunting, it is an extremely valuable concept to keep in mind. The way you see your life quite literally defines how it will pan out.


Take as an example one of Jewish history's greatest disasters, the debacle of the spies sent by the Israelites to the Promised Land. We all know, and will review this Shabbos, how the spies (except for Joshua and Caleb) reported that the Jewish nation would never reach the Promised Land. The nation quickly bought into their gloomy prognosis ("oy vey" is the Jewish way) and cried bitterly over what they believed could only be a suicidal attempt to settle the Land.


What set off the spies' fears was what they witnessed while scouting the country. Each time the spies entered a city, they saw a large funeral procession. Quickly, the reconnoisance team concluded the "obvious": This is a land where people die. In their report to the nation they would describe Israel as "a land that eats up its inhabitants". That was enough to unseat the people completely. Just about everybody bewailed their terrible fate and demanded a return to Egypt. And G-d responded with the parental, "If you cry for no good reason, I'll give you a reason to cry". Every complainer would die before he could reach the Promised Land. And the eve of crying went down in history as the dreaded Ninth of Av, anniversary of almost every significant Jewish tragedy.


Ironically, what the spies interpreted as disaster was actually G-d's plan to keep them safe while on their mission. He had decided to distract the population of each town with the death of one of its prominent citizens. Everyone would be so caught up in the formalities of burying these people that they wouldn't cast a glance in the spies' direction. G-d envisaged keeping the spies alive and safe. The spies saw death.


It's easy to keep a rosy outlook when things proceed according to plan. When they teeter (G-d forbid)- health issues, financial stress or family crises- we slip into "gloomy forecast". We seem to need a secret switch to flip us back into the optimistic approach. How do you look confidentally at bleak predictions?


One man quieted the tumult long enough to get his message across. Caleb, himself one of the spies, watched the growing mob-despair and realised that nobody could wedge a rational word in anywhere. Instead, he announced: "Oh, so do you think that this is all that Moshe did to us?" The crowds paused long enough to hear what they expected to be more fuel for their fury. "He also," continued Caleb, "Took us out of Egypt, split the sea and provided Manna for us in the desert." In a single sentence, he had changed perspective. He had reminded the people that Moshe had, with G-d's help, gotten them out of a slew of sticky situations. He had previously proven his worth and could be relied upon to pull them through their next challenge.


Caleb knew how to flip the optimisim switch. What he told the Jews in the desert applies equally to us. We can all identify moments in our lives that "went right". A fortuitous business meeting, a "chance" medical checkup that saved a life or simply a time when we found a convenient parking space is a moment in our lives where G-d came through for us. It is healthy to review these events from time to time, just to remind ourselves who's Boss, that He knows what He's doing and that He delivers. Remember those moments and it becomes much easier to imagine that what is still to come will be OK too. 


We choose how to see what has happened in our lives. We choose to see how things will happen in our lives. Whatever perspective we choose, it defines our lives.

Are you getting your tattoo tomorrow?

Do you plan to get a tattoo?


A few weeks ago, I popped into a nearby quick-shop to buy a bottle of water. As I stood on line waiting to pay, I read the neck of the person in  front of me. 


Yes, his neck. 


In bold, calligraphic letters, this fellow had tattooed the Shema on the nape of his neck. I got the sense that he was stretching and flexing especially for me to see. He was doing a sort of "Hey! Rabbi, do see my Jewish pride?" number. Tattoos aren't kosher, but there is no doubt that his was intended to celebrate, not undermine Judaism. 


I've since shared this story with a few people and have discovered that Hebrew/ Torah tattoos are quite popular. I'm told there are even some celebs who sport Hebrew on their bodies. I'm told that a very proud local Jew has had a Magen David emblazoned over his heart, to show his love for Yiddishkeit. Would I do it? No. But, those graffitied Jews make a you think.


Torah is classically presented as ink on parchment; be it a book or the sacred Torah scroll. Ink and paper/ parchment remain two separate entities (the ink + paper) that combine to create a document. You could chemically remove the ink, which proves that the ink and the paper remain separate. They say you can remove a tattoo using laser, but there's no question that body-art is more permanent than ink on paper. My "friend with the Shema on his neck" has etched its message on his person more indelibly than most Jews I know.


Tomorrow is Shavuot, the day G-d gave us- and gives us again- His Torah. When G-d gives the Torah, it's not the ink-on-paper type; it's the etched into stone version. On this holiday, He empowers to engrave His message onto our souls. All you need to do is get to Shul to hear the Ten Commandments tomorrow. You arrive and G-d brands you with His message.


So, are you going to get yourself a tattoo tomorrow?

Did you have the urge to see Osama dead?

Got a Facebook account? 


Then you'll know all about the torrent of invitations to see photos of Osama bin Laden dead that have invaded the social networking site. I didn't take the bait. That was just as well, because those who did unleashed a Trojan message that invaded their friends'  list and posting itself on everyone else's walls, luring them to the trap of those "graphic photos". 


Monday and Tuesday, the debate raged over whether or not to publish the dead Osama pics. Today, the White House officially announced that they would not make the kill-shots public. Personally, I'm glad they made that decision, because I'm too squeamish for blood 'n guts. But, there are many others who want to see proof that global enemy #1 is actually dead, and still others who want to revel in his death.

Over 56 million Americans flipped on their TV sets to watch President Obama announce that Bin Laden had been laid to waste. Considering that it was almost midnight for many of them, that's a massive viewership. An episode of the wildly popular American Idol series "only" grabs about 25 million viewers. Even Obama's inauguration clocked in at under 50 million viewers. Americans seem obsessed with this story- and they want to see every detail. Obama himself (along with VP Biden and Secretary of State Clinton) purportedly watched the special forces' assault live.

What's with the American people and their urge to witness misfortune? Al Qaeda played on the American fixation with live TV when they slammed United flight 175 into the second of the Twin Towers in front of the disbelieving eyes of millions.

It's not only the Americans who harbour this urge to see it for themselves, it's a global phenomenon. Traffic backs up regularly on our roads as people "rubberneck" when passing car accidents. Online videos or photos of disasters clock up incredibly high hit rates (think of the Japanese tsunami footage). Even when we know that the images will traumatize us, we look anyway (like the recent Fogel family murder in Itamar, Israel). Right now, hundreds of Jews on "March of the Living" are visiting the most horrid places on Earth, Nazi concentration camps and mass graves. We don't suffice with reading reports, we insist on witnessing events personally.

Napolean, Hannibal and Alexander the Great successfully directed complex military campaigns over thousands of kilometres in foreign territory, relying on sketchy, dated information procured by scouts and couriers. Back then, you often heard news long after it had happened. The Talmud describes how the residents of Tur Malka in Israel celebrated victory over the Romans on one side of town, unaware that the Roman legions had destroyed the other side of town and were mere metres away from killing them all. 


Until the 20th century, you saw perhaps half a dozen significant events in your lifetime, possibly heard about double as many and remained blissfully unaware of most of what went on in the battles, famines or epidemics anyway further than 100km from home.

Our great-grandparents picked up stale stories in newspapers. Our grandparents heard somewhat fresh reports on the wireless. Our parents picked up the day's events during the 8 o' clock news on the Telly. We have access to a dazzling array of multimedia formats that stream directly onto the devices we carry in our pockets, so that we can be updated by the second.

Reality TV, streaming video, online cams and social networking have turned society voyeuristic. We expect to see. We enjoy seeing. We want to see. If we can't see, we feel robbed.

The classical model of study always relied on hearing. You heard a lecture or listened to a teacher and that was how you learned. Studying from a book would follow a similar cognitive process to hearing- taking in one byte of information at a time.

What you hear is never as real as what you see.

There is only one change that will occur when Moshiach comes. Instead of just hearing; we will start to see. We always hear about G-d and about how great He is, but we see a world that seems devoid of a Boss and a life that lacks meaning. We've heard all the religious rhetoric before, but what we see contradicts what we hear. Moshiach will usher in a time when we see differently. It will be a time when we see realities, rather than study concepts. Then we will see the whole picture and life will start to make sense. Then we won't have to rely on hearsay about what is and isn't true, who is or isn't right. We'll see it for ourselves.

Society is now primed for the Moshiach paradigm shift. We are the generation that won't settle for what they tell us, we want to see. Psychologically, we're there. The time has come for G-d to allow us to see what He's been hiding all this time.

How to celebrate Osama's death

When Americans took to the streets to celebrate Osama bin Laden's death, something didn't quite sit right with me. Initially, I put it down to two issues that didn't add up. One was the undeniable similarity between their behaviour and Arab jubilation when the Twin Towers came down on 9/11. The other was the patently illogical joy at a "safer world", when the threat of terrorism remains palpable even after Osama. Besides, since when do Jews celebrate our enemies' downfalls?

Earlier this week, the "was it right to celebrate" conversation came up again. As we debated the merits or otherwise of America's joyous outpouring, a fresh perspective emerged.

Pesach recalls how Pharaoh tried to annihilate us, and failed. Purim commemorates Haman's unsuccessful attempt at Jewish genocide. During these and other similar holidays, we don't thank G-d for killing our adversaries, but for saving us.

In fact, after G-d drowned the Egyptians in the sea, we sang a song of praise to thank Him for rescuing us. The angels wanted to sing a song of praise at that time too, but G-d stopped them. We had reason to sing, because we had just been saved and needed to thank G-d. The angels had never been in danger, so G-d refused to allow them to sing at a time when so many people- evil as they were- died.

When the Jews sang to G-d at the sea, it was not a flippant, break-out-the-bubbly-in-the- street affair. If you acknowledge that G-d has made a miracle for you, you acknowledge that you owe Him something in return. After all, if He has kept you alive, He clearly expects you to achieve something.


After being held up in my home at gunpoint a week before Rosh Hashanah (and a few days before 9/11), I remember thinking that G-d clearly wanted to send me a message. My assailant could have pulled the trigger at any moment (Johannesburg has more daily murders than you care to imagine), so what stopped him? My conclusion: G-d didn't allow him to. Standing in Shul on that Rosh Hashanah, reflecting on the past and planning for the future, I felt that if He had kept me alive I had better ensure my life would be meaningful.

When a person survives a life-threatening experience (crime, accident or illness), Jewish law mandates that they say a thanksgiving blessing. That blessing reads: "Blessed are you G-d... who kindly does good for those who do not deserve it." G-d does miracles because He cares about us, not because we have earned them. He destroys our enemies because He loves us, not because we deserve His protection.

You want to celebrate because one terrifying villain is no longer? Fine. But, don't rush out into the streets, yelling and toasting his death. A Jew should respond with a show of dedication to G-d; a meaningful statement of "thank you for what you have done for us, now we owe you."

The cost to catch Bin Laden

Here's one of the hundreds of Bin Laden jokes floating around the Internet: "It took the most powerful, technologically advanced country in the world hundreds of millions of dollars and over a decade of searching through the Afghani mountains to find one man in his home." Exactly how much the Bin Laden hunt cost the US is unclear, but it was no cheap operation. 


It's a week later and the media remains obsessed with the details of the special forces' operation, the machinations of Al Qaeda network and with the foreboding of retaliatory attacks on Western interests. Even William and Kate's most-watched-ever wedding has receded to a page-two story, overshadowed by the specter of the world's arch-terrorist. The world has abandoned the exuberance of a fairy-tale couple to fixate on the hate-filled architect of global terror.


Typical human behaviour. 


Did the US squander disproportionate time, expertise and money in the search for Osama? Who knows. But, each of us blows energy, time and emotion on the little "Bin Laden" who lives in our heads. He's the guy who always bombs your plans to become more disciplined, to improve your relationships or to connect with G-d. Whenever you're primed to make progress, he blasts away at your resolve. 


So, you start searching for Osama. 


"Why do I always fail?", "What causes me to slide backwards when I thought I was making progress?" 


You enlist expert help, spend time in therapy, retrace your childhood and dissect your personality. Over years, you spend hundreds of hours, fortunes of energy and an heaps of money hunting your nemesis. You may eventually find and eliminate him. But you might just expend time, energy and money only to remain frustrated. 


Judaism doesn't recommend seek-and-destroy when it comes to internal works. The Torah's advice is to build the positive inside yourself. Do more. Learn more. Help others more. Invest in growth and positivity and your inner-enemy will dissolve.  


Obsession with bad guys is good for the Navy SEALS. You concentrate on growing the good within yourself. 

Is it okay to celebrate Osama's death?

Osama Bin Laden is dead. Today, after ten years of trying, US Navy Seals and CIA operatives killed him in his compound in Pakistan.  


Americans are elated. Outside the White House, they sang, cheered and waved flags. At Ground Zero, a decade's worth of pent-up emotions exploded into joy and calls of "Obama got Osama!". Barack Obama announced that "Justice has been done" and European Union Parliament president, Jerzy Burzek declared "We woke up in a safer world". 


A safer world? That remains to be seen. Meanwhile, the burning question for many is "Should we be celebrating?". Street-jubilation and flag-waving is distasteful to us. We've seen it too often on Palestinian streets, the flags, the singing, the gunshots as they've celebrated Jewish deaths. We are a nation obsessed with life, fixated on peace and repulsed by killing. Yes, we're glad he's gone. Yes, we abhor the terror that the Bin Laden's of the world perpetuate. But, do we celebrate death- albeit of our enemies? 


"When your enemy falls, do not rejoice, lest G-d sees your glee and directs His anger against you," warns the Torah. 


Jewish holidays don't celebrate the deaths of our enemies, but the rescue of our people. While we recall the demise of Haman on Purim and of the Egyptians on Pesach, we focus our attention on the fact that our nation was saved, rather than rejoice at their suffering.


We've just concluded Pesach. On other festivals, we sing Hallel, a series of praises to thank G-d for His miracles. On the last two days of Pesach, however, we only recite an abridged version of these praises, because these days recall when G-d drowned the Egyptians. G-d even stopped His angels from singing praises at that time, because He insisted that it would be wrong to sing while people are dying. Remember, we're talking about the  Egyptians, a depraved nation of slave-drivers who were our nation's arch-enemies for two centuries. Still, no singing.


Likewise, King David, in Psalm 104, calls for sins- not sinners- to be eradicated. 


Exactly twenty years ago today, the Lubavitcher Rebbe challenged us, his followers, and the entire Jewish world in an unprecedented way. He made an impassioned public address in which he said: "I have done everything in my power to bring Moshiach, now do everything in your power to bring him!" That Osama was killed exactly twenty years later to the day is no coincidence. But, it gives us no license to celebrate.


As the media that trumpeted Osama's death, it also reported heightened security and warned of possible anti-West retaliation. One tentacle of the terror-beast is gone, but the beast is as fearsome as ever. Now is a good time to remind ourselves that Purim only became a festival after the war was won, not as soon as Haman had been killed. The "war on terror" has not yet been won. We don't have time to celebrate Osama's death because the threat of what he represents is very much alive. 


When the Rebbe spoke of bringing Moshiach, he referred to a time of global peace; a time where goodwill pervades society and all people focus on Divine-connection, rather than vice, jealousy and hatred. He spoke of a world where sins dissolve and sinners come round; where you no longer fight for liberty and safety, because the perpetrators of violence "get it" and put their weapons away forever. The Rebbe insisted that we dare not rest until that idyllic world becomes reality. 


If good men still need to kill to free the world of evil, we're not yet ready to celebrate. There is still much work to do.


----


(Click here for another perspective on this question. Excellent article.)

Is this what Moshiach will look like?

Friday buzzed non-stop with William and Kate's royal wedding. I didn't join the 2 billion strong TV audience (don't have a TV) or the half-billion streaming-Internet viewers to witness that glamorous spectacle.  I would have liked to have watched the military bands, Bentley's and Rolls Royces and the RAF fly-past. The actual ceremony held no interest for me. Besides, which rabbi has leisure time on a Friday?


Chatting to a member of our community later in the day, I had a twang of regret. He animatedly described the procession, throngs of well-wishers, Union Jack-lined streets and exuberance of the crowds. 


"They really got excited," he explained, "for the Brits, this is their thing. They love the whole monarchy, pomp and ceremony bit. It's what defines the English. Today was their day; something they would have looked forward to for years."


He had a point. Every country has its sense of identity, its national pride and landmark moments that generate wholesale joy among its citizens. 


What he said next is what got me thinking.


"To me, this was a dress-rehearsal for Moshiach," he remarked. "I mean, he will be our king, we'll line the streets and cheer- or dance- as he parades along, flanked by Judaism's great personalities and escorted by the world's military elite (all defunct except for their role as honour guard), his every move flashed around the world for all to see."


To be honest, I hadn't thought of the royal wedding hoopla in that light. He certainly had a point.


The Talmud says, "Always take the opportunity to see a king, even a gentile king. If you merit, you will get to discern the difference between their kings and ours". According to the commentaries, the Talmud means that you will appreciate the greatness of Moshiach after you have seen the kings of the nations. 


Thanks to YouTube, I did get to watch the procession highlights. I think I'm all ready for Moshiach now.

You didn't crack an invite to Will & Kate's wedding?

I hear you didn't make the cut for today's Royal Wedding. 


That's a shame, but you can take comfort in the fact that neither were Tony Blair, Gordon Brown or the Obamas (Swaziland's King Mswati is on the guest-list, mind you). Besides, you're welcome to join a royal wedding later if you'd like. (No, I'm not referring to our local "royal" wedding celebrations of Dudu Zuma either.)

London this morning will be aglow with all the glamour and extravagance befitting a royal affair. Weather permitting, the couple will travel from the service to Buckingham Palace in the historic 1902 State Landau carriage built for King Edward VII's coronation. Over 1000 military personnel, in ceremonial uniform, will line the streets en route and an honour guard will greet the couple on arrival. Various army, navy and RAF bands will play as the couple passes them. A fly-past of World War II fighter planes and modern jets will swoop overhead once the new couple has arrived.

William and Kate's nuptials promise to be a riveting spectacle, whether you watch it from the inside, from the London streets or on your TV at home.

But, as I said, if you're not on the VIP list, don't fret. You're invited to a royal wedding too. Come join us this evening. There'll be less paparazzi and glitz, but a more spectacular procession and a more royal couple.

Shabbos (as you can see from the famous "Lecha Dodi") is called both a bride and a queen or a royal bride. Soon after Creation, G-d commented that each day has a partner (Sunday-Friday, Monday-Thursday, Tuesday-Wednesday) except for Shabbos. His intention was to pair us with Shabbos, transforming both of us into royalty for 24 hours a week.

Kabbalah teaches that, as Shabbos enters, processions of angels rise to the Heavens and return here to Earth. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev described a "great parade" that gets underway on High as we say the Friday night prayers. According to the Zohar, the spiritual excitement of Shabbos is so intense that all negative energy is suspended. Likewise, the Talmud notes the "Gehinnom" shuts down and that blessings flow for the whole week ahead.

William and Kate are expected to have 2 billion TV viewers and 400 million Internet users watch their wedding. They'll have their day of glory today- and likely in the media for a good few days to come. But, considering that a single angel comprises the energy and complexity of 1/3 of our entire universe, and that we have two of them accompany us home from Shul on Friday night (not to mention the parading angels in Shul), it makes sense to capitalise on the amazing wedding procession we have access to every single week.

Yes, it has gone cold. Yes, it's dark now by the time Shul ends. Yes, we work long-draining days during the week and flop down exhausted on Friday evening. Yes, we plan to be at Shul on Shabbos morning. But, G-d puts on a royal wedding for us every Friday night, so surely we should be there! 


Can you imagine what would happen if Kate didn't show up this morning?

He's YOUR child!

One of the central, yet often overlooked, chapters of the Seder night revolves around four sons. They are a diverse bunch- a wise, rebellious, simple and silent son who all come to hear the story of the Exodus. I know some people glance around the Seder table and mentally rate the guests according to this list (Jeremy's a genius, definitely the wise son, Harold's rather simple and Dean's biting sarcasm qualifies him as the wicked one...). 


But, I suspect that we get so caught up in the myth of the characters that we forget the Torah introduces them as "your son". Pesach is a time for parent-to-child education, in line with the Torah's instruction "You shall tell (the story of Exodus) to your child". So, the Torah had you in mind when it listed the "son" archetypes.


You may have a wise son (which Jewish parent doesn't?), he's gifted and frets if his grade drops below an A+. You know your budding Einstein needs to be stimulated, so you sign him up for extra maths, public speaking and a plethora of extra-curricular activities to keep his mind buzzing.


Or your son might be the school rascal, a troublemaker who spends more time in the principal's office than on the playground. He has ADHD appended to a string of other abbreviated disorders that make him a teacher's nightmare. You pack him full of Ritalin or whatever other miracles drugs the experts recommend and hope to dull him to a manageable behaviour level so he can get an education.


You might have a simple son, who you schlep off to therapies after school because of his learning difficulties, low muscle-tone and poor fine-motor skills. 


Your son could be the silent type; one who doesn't challenge you with the depth of the genius nor with the barbs of rebellious chutzpah. You plonk a PS3 into his hands or seat him in front of the TV and he's happy. 


Whatever your child(ren)'s nature, today's world allows you to outsource their needs. 


Pesach, in typical forward-thinking Torah fashion, says you need to remember to be your child's parent. Sure, you're entitled to use the world's offerings to help your child, but never forget that you are their parent. The Torah addresses parents in the singular: "You teach your child." Pesach reminds us that we dare not abdicate our responsibility to take a personal interest in each of our children, to recognize that each of them is an individual. 


Talk to your child on his terms. Listen to what he says and respond appropriately. And if he doesn't talk, coax him into conversation. 

Ben-Gurion University students develop thought-controlled, hands-free computer for the disabled

And to think that the University of Johannesburg decided to boycott this university...

Ben-Gurion University students develop thought-controlled, hands-free computer for the disabled

Shvitzing for Pesach

Pesach. Again.

Oh, but this one's been different to all others (cliched as that may sound).

You know it's that time of year when the kids hum mah nishtanah, your credit card burns brighter than your chometz bonfire (if only Pick 'n Pay would realise Pesach products aren't supposed to inflate) and you drag out the once-a-year dishes (hey, I forgot we had a one-hand, sixteen-mode grater/peeler!).

But, this year is different. Our family's been extra priveleged to get to play the part of the Jewish slaves, thanks to the unplanned departure of our domestic help. Working my way through the house, I discovered that our maid had actually checked out about six months back (judging by my forensic dust-audit) and only owned up to it a couple of weeks ago (maybe she had a twang of Jewish guilt about being paid for doing nothing). Either way, my kids are dusting bookshelves and I'm scrubbing walls and floors.

I'm not about to glorify my newfound cleaner role, but it has been enlightening. Our grandparents in the Shtetl surely had smaller homes to clean, but they did it all themselves. Thank G-d, we have the luxury of cleaning help, but perhaps with it we've come to miss some of the Pesach experience. You can definitely feel liberated at your Seder table without doing "back-breaking" (or physio-inducing) labour beforehand. Pesach is the time to liberate your spirit, which is just as challenging if you live in Sandton or in Alex. No, it's not the reliving our ancestors' experience that I'm feeling in the grit and dust.

Wash-rag and window-cleaner in hand, I recall a story from Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev. One Rosh Hashanah, after blowing the Shofar, he called his congregation to attention. If you read the small print in the Machzor, you'll find a little Kabbalaesque passage after Shofar-blowing. There we ask Hashem to release the angels that we've created through the variety of Shofar blasts, and to bless us for a good year.

"What happens," asked Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, "If we haven't focused properly on the Rosh Hashanah service and we've only produced weak angels. Will we receive incomplete blessings for the New Year?"

As the crowd swallowed hard, the rebbe continued, "Kashrak is the acrostic for the sounds of the Shofar. It also stands for kratzen (scraping), sheiben (polishing), reiben (scrubbing) and kasheren (kashering dishes). If the angels produced by the shofar aren't powerful enough to elicit blessings for the year, the angels produced by the exertion of Pesach preparations are certainly powerful enough to bring us blessings for the year!"

I take comfort in that. I'm not attacking dust-bunnies, I'm generating angels.

You can't live Judaism in your head. Ours is not a religion of philosophy or theosophy; it's about action. If you want to do what Hashem wants, be prepared to break a sweat and get your hands dirty. Life will throw you many moments where you need to pause and help someone else. Those chances will usually be inconvenient and often take you places (physical, emotional or philosophical) that are uncomfortable. Next time G-d sends you that challenging person or that tedious task, consider that Judaism is about turning dust into angels.

And, if sweeping the floor to prepare for Pesach is so powerful, imagine how invigorating Pesach itself must be. If I can reach the heights of Rosh Hashanah, or higher, with my dustpan, I must surely be able to access immense blessing at the Seder itself. As the Previous Rebbe was told by his father, "All the doors of Heaven are open on Pesach night, make sure to access the right things".

Pesach (Passover) Guide

Pesach has got to be the Jewish holiday with the longest to-do list. Here's a simplified version of what you need to get done:


PRE-PESACH:


SPRING CLEANING
In the Northern Hemisphere, Pesach is in the spring. The frenzied Chametz-purge that we undertake must be the origin of having an annual clean-up. Technically, you could keep treif food in your house during the year, but you may not own a crumb of bread over Pesach. That's why we get all OCD about cleaning every corner of the house.


GOT CHAMETZ?
We all know bread is forbidden on Pesach. Other Pesach contraband includes anything made from wheat, barley, spelt, oats or rye that's been allowed to rise (pasta included) or ferment (whiskey, beer). You'll need to check ingredients of medicines and cosmetics too.


SELL YOUR BREAD PORTFOLIO
You can't own chametz over Pesach, so if you plan to keep (locked away) some bread, biscuits or Black Label for after the holiday, make sure to sell it to a non-Jew. You can sell yours online at www.chabad.org.


HELP SOMEONE MAKE PESACH
Pesach is not a cheap time of year. When you stock up on your matzah, wine and macaroons, remember to contribute something towards those who can't afford their own Pesach.


HAND-BAKED MATZAH
Get yourself some bona fide hand-baked Matzah for the Seder night. It will add some authentic (lack of) flavour to your Pesach.


KITCHEN-KASHER
You'll need to clean and "kasher" your kitchen and utensils to be usable on Pesach (some appliances and utensils can't be kashered). Click here for a guide to what can and can't be kashered for Pesach and how to go about it.


BIG SHABBOS
The Shabbos before Pesach is called Shabbos Hagadol, the "great" Shabbos. It's the day the Egyptian firstborns caught wind of the fact they were all going to die, causing an Egyptian uprising (yes, already back then) against their dictator (Pharaoh). The rabbi is supposed to review the Pesach laws on Shabbos, and we read part of the Haggadah after Mincha.


SEEK & DESTROY
On the night before Pesach (Sunday night) have someone hide 10 pieces of bread (good idea to wrap them to avoid scattering crumbs) around the house (also a good idea to jot down where each piece is, in case you forget). Grab a feather, wooden spoon, paper bag and candle and set out to find the 10 pieces (and any other chametz you might have missed). Start with the blessing: "Boruch atoh Adonoy Elohaynu Melech ho-oilom asher kid'shonu bemitzvoisov vetzivonu ull biur chometz".
Once you've collected all 10 pieces put them aside to be burnt (with any other leftover bread etc.) on Monday morning.
After the search and when burning chametz, say the "nullification" of chametz (basically: "Any chametz I've missed is of no value to me").
After that's all done, no eating Chametz 'till Pesach's over. 


NO BREAKFAST?
Firstborn boys (or their dads, if they're under 13) should fast on the day before Pesach (Monday). That's out of respect for the fact that G-d spared them when he killed the Egyptian firstborns.
You can dodge the fast by coming to Shul in the morning to hear a "siyum" (conclusion of a tractate of Talmud), which is a reason to celebrate (and eat).


PESACH PROPER:


SPECIAL SERVICE
We add "Hallel" (thanksgiving prayers to Hashem) on each night of Pesach.


SEDER SETUP
On first night, have everything ready to go before you head off to Shul. That way, you can get down to business ASAP when you come home.
On second night, you may only start preparing for the Seder after dark.


SEDER PLATE


Place 3 Matzos on top of each other and the Seder plate above them. On the Seder plate you have:

Bone = roasted chicken neck with most of the meat removed. (Top right of the plate)


Egg = hard-boiled or roasted. (Top left)


Maror = romaine lettuce and fresh horseradish. (Set up in two places, middle & middle bottom)


Charoses = ground nuts, apples/ pears & wine (pasty, not wet). (Bottom right)


Karpas = slice of raw onion/ parsley/ boiled potato. (Bottom left)



SEDER 15 STEP PROGRAMME



Kadesh- Kiddush.
Each person says their own brocha for the wine, even if they don't say Kiddush. This is the first of the four cups.
[Each of the 4 cups = full cup, in one shot, leaning to left. Minimum cup size is 90ml)


Urchatz
Wash your hands (three times on the right, three on the left).
Say no Brocha.


Karpas
Dip the onion/potato/parsley into the salt water.
Say Baruch... Borei Pri HoAdomo and eat a little.


Yachatz
Break the middle Matza in two.
Put the larger piece away for the Afikomen.
Leave the smaller piece between the other Matzos.


Magid
Pour cup #2 and read the story of Pesach (Discuss its contemporary relevance).


Rochtzo
Wash your hands (three times on the right, three on the left).
Say the normal Brocha for washing hands.


Motzi
Say the Brocha for Matzah (same as for bread), while holding  2½ Matzos in both hands.


Matzah
Say the special Brocha for Matzah (Boruch... achilas Matzah), while holding only the top 1½ Matzos in both hands.
Lean to the left and eat about 1½ Matzos (minimum 3/4 of a Matzah) from the top & middle Matzos.
Try to finish this Matzah in 4 minutes.


Maror
Say the special Brocha for Maror (Boruch... al achilas maror).
Eat about three medium-sized Romaine lettuce leaves with some raw horseradish.
Dip the Maror into Charoses.
Don't lean.

Koraich
Eat ¾ of the bottom Matzah with about three romaine lettuce leaves and horseradish.
Dip the Maror into Charoses. Shake off the Charoses.
Lean to your left while eating.


Shulchan Orech
Eat some of the boiled egg, dipped in salt water.
You made it! Now you can eat the meal (or can you? After all that Matzah...)
This is also a great time to discuss the Pesach story and its modern message in detail.


Tzofun
Bring the afikomen out of its hiding place and enjoy another 1½ Matzos (minimum ¾ of a Matzah).
Lean to your left.


Beirach
Pour cup #3 of wine as well as Elijah's cup.
Sing the benching (grace after meals).
After benching, drink the third cup, pour the fourth cup and open the door for Elijah.


Hallel
Praise Hashem for all his miracles.
Drink the fourth cup.


Nirtzah
Hashem has accepted our Pesach Seder.
Next year in Jerusalem!


DEW FOR A BROCHA
On first day Pesach, we say a special prayer for dew.
From that point on, we change to "Morid Hatal" (Who causes the dew to fall) in the Amidah.


DAYS THAT COUNT
From 2nd night Pesach, start counting the Omer, 49 days of prep for Shavuos and the Giving of the Torah. The seven weeks of Omer-counting are a time for introspection and personal development.


A MONTH OF HOLIDAYS
April is already a write-off, with all those public holidays, so you may as well enjoy the semi-holiday "Chol Hamoed" period between Yom Tovs, when you're not meant to work.


BACK TO THE FUTURE
The first days of Pesach concentrate on the historic Exodus, while the last days look towards the future redemption with Moshiach.


ALL-NITER
It's customary to spend the 7th night of Pesach learning.


A MEAL FIT FOR MOSHIACH
On the last day of Pesach, we have a special meal called "Moshiach's Seudah" or Moshiach's meal. Join us for a round of 4 cups of wine, spiritual insights and a farewell to the holiday.


POST PESACH:


The day after Pesach is called "Isru Chag", a day for little extra joy & food to keep the Pesach spirit alive.




You can find more info, all the right times for your location as well as where to find a Seder near you at www.chabad.org

Whatever happened to April Fools Day?

I enjoy a good laugh or tasteful prank. Every first of April, since childhood, I've kept vigilant for the media's shenanigans and- even funnier- the gullible outrage of the public. One of my favourites as a kid was when our local Star newspaper reported that the government was about to expropriate houses in our area to make way for a subway system (you should have heard the indignant calls to local radio stations). Just as hilarious was the time a radio station bluffed that a tug was pulling an iceberg up the east coast of Africa. People phoned in to say that they could see the floating 'berg from their windows!


This year I was stymied. Sifting through the news, I encountered some outright prank stories (like Groupon buying the rights to the name "April Fools Day") and a few that could have been true (like "Richard Branson buys Pluto" or "The Guardian to set up a live Royal Wedding blog" or "Gmail's  Gmotion will allow you to send emails using only gestures"). And there were those stories that sounded like they should have been hoaxes, but were sadly true ("Massachusetts letter arrives 66 years too late" and, worst of all "South African crime intelligence boss arrested on murder charges").


Years ago, an outrageous news-claim would more easily have stood out as a hoax. Today, with news stories like "14-year old rape victim flogged to death" it's become tricky to discern what's for real. April Fools seems to have become the standard. Ours is a world gone mad, where wild statements are normal and people finger the Voice of Reason as unbalanced. It's Aprils Fools' world. 


In the fools' world morality is unpopular and depravity celebrated. It's the meshugah place where a family murdered in their sleep goes unnoticed by a world preoccupied with the drunken rants of an overpaid actor.


You need courage to live in this crazy world. Courage enough to know you are still sane when the lunatics call you crazy. 

Reconsidering the Goldstone Report on Israel and war crimes - The Washington Post

Reconsidering the Goldstone Report on Israel and war crimes - The Washington Post

Should you make a fuss?

Luckily, we don't have one in our Shul, the fellow who drops a coin into the Tzedokah box and then shakes the thing to let everyone know he's done it. Some folks revel in whatever limelight they can get from doing good. Three months afterwards, they regale you with the story of their valiant effort to help a stranded woman change her tyre. They thrive on publicity.

On the other extreme, you get those who run a mile from public accolades. You'll chat to them for twenty minutes at a function without realising that they've sponsored the event or are the honorees of the dinner. They disburse goodness and generosity without pausing to think that anyone else has to know. They revel in anonymity.

Who is right? If you do a Mitzvah, should the community know about it, or should it remain your personal secret with G-d?

"Mitzvah lefarsem osay mitzvah", says the Talmud, "It is a mitzvah to advertise one who performs a mitzvah." It makes sense. When you draw attention to a person's good deed, it sets an example for others to follow. Note: The Talmud says it's a mitzvah to beat the drum for do-gooders, but it offers no license for self-promotion.

We are about to start reading the third book of the Torah, which opens with the laws of sacrifices. It starts with the statement that "Adam", a person who brings an offering to G-d should follow certain rules. Torah has a range of titles for humans at its disposal: "ish", "gever" or "enosh". Yet, it davka refers to the person bringing an offering as "Adam", a throwback to the first human. The verse links bringing your sacrifice to behaving as Adam did. One reason is to remind you that Adam didn't steal the animal he used as his offering, so neither should you.

The problem is, that the Torah already covers that by saying "bring an offering from you", meaning from your flock or herd. Surely, the sages hadn't missed that obvious reference, so their "don't steal" lesson must carry deeper meaning.

One insight is that Adam couldn't steal the limelight when he brought his sacrifice to G-d, because there was nobody else to impress. The eternal lesson is that when you move to get closer to G-d (korban, the Hebrew for sacrifice, comes from the Hebrew "karov", meaning close), do it in a way that nobody notices. If they notice, it's up to them to laud you and use you as an example for others to follow- which is not a bad thing either.

Improve your cash flow

"Money makes the world go 'round."

Ouch! Plenty people take offence to that cliche. It implies that rich people call the shots or that values like love and wisdom are not respected in society. The "Golden rule" that "he who has the gold makes the rules" drives capitalism, but unnerves people's sensitivities.

What would you say if I told you that Judaism believes that money does make the world go 'round? Surprised? I thought so. (No comments about revenue of Jewish organisations, please). It's not that Judaism sees money as the turbine of life, but it definitely acknowledges that it plays a pivotal role in our existence.

Money can't buy you happiness or meaning, but it can buy you partnership in G-d's business. G-d is supremely creative. He could have designed the realities of the world in any one of an infinite number of ways. He could have made everyone wealthy, or decided that money should grow on trees, or that people should survive without ever needing cash. He didn't. He chose to make haves and have-nots. And He had a very good reason for doing so.

Life is the confluence of give and take. Earth gives forth plants that offer nutrition to animals, who provide food for humans, who plow energy back into the earth to restart the cycle. Beyond the physical, G-d supplies energy and means to us, and we return dedication and achievement to Him. All life is the cyclic heartbeat of providing and receiving. Sometimes, you are the recipient, other times the supplier.

When G-d gives you money, He invites you onto the supply side of existence. He expects you to start a new flow from provider to recipient. He wants you to channel some of your success towards others less fortunate. As you become a provider, you stimulate more flow from the Ultimate Provider to you. He sees you as a reliable partner in His grand plan- the flow of energy through life.

Money makes the world go 'round, but only when it moves outwards. If the buck stops at you, if you hang on to every cent, the cycle stops and the blessings can no longer flow. If you keep the cash flowing, so does G-d.

The Diablo that didn't turn heads

Your children will always offer you a different perspective on things, and it's often worth listening to them. Their eye-opener comments often pop out from the backseat of the car, as happened to me last week.

It was the last week of the school holidays and I had promised the kids an outing. We were cruising down Republic road (nobody was fighting yet, which was a good sign) en route to Adventure Golf in Randburg, when he pulled in front of us. I'm not a big car afficiendo, but the bright yellow Lamborghini Diablo ahead of us did catch my eye (do I hear some of you guys drooling?).

"Hey, look at that car!" I announced to the kids. Instead of the "cool!" response I anticipated, their comments ranged from "that's a weird car" to "how can you get inside that thing?" As we waited for the light to turn green, and my brood debated how many people could squeeze into the speed-machine, a passing car distracted them. Across our line of sight a little ol' beat-up VW Beetle sputtered past. 

"Wow! Look at that old car!" "Cool!" The flashy hot-wheels was quickly forgotten as they oogled over the jalopy. 

Yep, kids can teach us sometimes. Speed and status are attractive, but stability and sensibility endure. 

Great article- Portesting Israel's "occupation" of the West Bank

Light up the nights

Hanukkah, Hannuka, Chanukah, spell it how you will, it's a fun-filled eight-days of celebration. 


THE STORY IN A NUTSHELL
Syrian Hellenists grew frustrated with the Jews because they refused to back down on "illogical" practices like circumcision at eight days and purity laws. 
When they couldn't change the Jews minds with logic, they resorted to violence and trashing the Temple in Jerusalem.
A brave family (the Chashmonaim) launched a guerrilla assault against the well-trained, powerful Greek-Syrian army. 
The Jews one. 
When they reclaimed the Temple, they couldn't find any pure oil to light the Menorah-candelabra (in their anti-purity zeal, the Hellenists had defiled every jug of oil).
When they eventually found a tiny jug, G-d broke the laws of Nature & made the drops of oil burn for eight days. 


GOT A LIGHT?
From Wednesday 1 December, light your Menorah/Chanukiya each evening after sunset.
On night 1, light 1. Night 2, light 2 etc,
[For the relevant blessings, click here]


CHANUKIYA DESIGNS
A kosher Chanukah candelabra has eight branches in a straight row at equal heights, plus a distinct branch for the "shamash" (lighter).


FUEL
First prize = Olive oil. Otherwise, those colourful candles are good too.


KEEP THE LIGHTS ON
Your candles need to burn for at least half an hour after dark (that's especially tricky on Shabbat, when you need to light the Chanukah lights before the Shabbat candles).


RELAX
Sit and watch your candles for a while. 
Women shouldn't work while the candles are burning (that's right, guys, you do dishes...).


SAY THANKS
During the Amidah and Birkat Hamazon (blessing after a meal), add the "Al Hanissim" paragraph that thanks G-d for the Chanukah miracles.


GELT
Give your kids Chanukah pocket money (especially on the 5th night).
Also give extra charity each day of Chanukah.


GO FOR A SPIN
Chanukah's famous game of spinning dreidel is great fun. 
[How to play]


TRANS-FATS, OY VEY
The Chanukah miracle is about oil- and so are the foods. Latkes and donuts or anything fried will do. 


DEEPER DIMENSION
Chanukah is the festival of Jewish mysticism, take a resolution to study some.


Have a fantastic Chanukah!!

It's never too late

WWII veteran, 91, celebrates bar mitzvah - Israel Jewish Scene, Ynetnews

Great speech!

Mr. Gennady Bogolubov speaks at the International Conference of Shluchim 2010 from Jewish Educational Media on Vimeo.

Kinect

Times Square was buzzing last Wednesday evening. I guess Times Square buzzes 24/7, 365 days a year, but last week was extraordinary. If you've visited New York's landmark thoroughfare, you'll recall the dazzling HD screens that turn night into day and flash commercials in your face.  It's where street vendors tout comedy shows and tickets to heaven to a sea of photo-snapping Asians, star-struck couples and scowling, scurrying locals. The "Crossroads of the world", you'll remember, is bounded by the Theatre Disctrict, One Times Square (from which they drop the New Year's Ball), the New York Hard Rock Cafe and, of course, Toys R Us. 

Last week's action unfolded outside the mega toy-store. We were dedicated parents, foraging for gifts to take home and almost missed  the "You are the controller" shirts that every sales representative there wore. Satisfied with our purchases, we stepped out into the refreshing evening chill, to be accosted by lavender signs on every building flashing "You are the controller". That was when we noticed the line.

The line stretched from the toy mecca's entrance to the end of the block, where it twisted right and continued a few hundred metres down the road. As we watched, it grew. More and more people, dressed for the freeze, some with chairs and blankets, took their places in line. They planned to spend the night on line, so they'd be poised to storm the shop as doors opened in the morning and the newest have-to-have gadget, the Xbox Kinect would come on sale. Kinect technology replaces the joystick or game controller with the player. Instead of pushing buttons, on-screen characters mirror your body's movements as you play. With Kinect, you are the controller of a virtual world.

Half a block away, we boarded the subway for Crown Heights, where I would stand in line to register for the Shluchim Conference- a weekend of spiritual upliftment. It would be a weekend of true connect, one that would empower each participant to be the controller of their piece of this world, to make it a better place.

Just when you were getting comfortable...

Do you also sometimes have those frenetic, dizzying rotor-blade days that sap you of patience, humour and energy? All you want to do after the day's chaos is to settle into your slippers, a hot bath or soft bed and breathe. Only the phone rings incessantly, your daughter needs help with homework or the neighbour's dog starts howling outside your window as you wind down.

Life teases us with all sorts of "just when you thought you were getting comfortable" moments to jolt us.

We are all entitled to gear down occasionally, but for the most part, life keeps us on our toes. Maybe it's G-d's conspiracy to keep us from getting comfortable.

Avraham was the prototype Jew who is supposed to model for us how living as a Jew works. Look at his life, he barely has a chance to catch his breath. As a child he has a run-in with his dad, who hands him over to the cops, who attempt to kill him (miraculously, Avraham survived). When he's 75, Hashem sends him packing to an unknown location and, as soon as Avraham gets settled there, brings famine to the land, sending Avraham on the road again. He tries to get on with his nephew, but Lot dumps him for the emerging markets in Sodom. Not long after that, Avraham has to rush off to rescue Lot (and fight off four kings) from his abductors. Avraham's wife can't have kids and advises him to take a second wife, but when Hagar falls pregnant, Sarah insists that Avraham kick her out the house (and potentially never meet the child he so wanted). Eventually, Hagar and Yishmael return and Sarah later bears a son. When Yishmael starts using his younger half-brother for target practice, Avraham sends him away. Then G-d tells him to take his favourite son and sacrifice him on an isolated mountain.

Avraham's life is a cacophony of upheaval with sprinklings of tranquility here and there. Had Avraham ever wanted to "chill", Hashem would quickly concoct a new speed-wobble to upend his world.

And he was the first Jew.

Because a Jew doesn't get comfortable. A Jew is someone who pushes the envelope and challenges everything that he or she has grown used to. A Jew cannot pat himself on the back or count "achievements". A Jew needs to always look for new challenges, aim for higher spiritual gains and greater impact on society. If a Jew doesn't push himself beyond his comfort-level, Hashem- in His infinite creativity- will.

Back to work...

Feel like you've seen a lot of Shul lately? Yom Tov season shleps us to daven considerably more than we normally would. Then there's all the eating, the family get-togethers, Sukkah visits and Simchas Torah workout- Judaism takes over much of our lives for the month of Tishrei.

All that Yom Toving can be tiring (this year someone asked me why we don't spread the holidays over a few months) or powerful and inspiring. As exhausting as playing rabbi for three triple headers was, I am sorry to see the Yom Tov season go. I'll miss the High holiday bursting-at-the-seams vibe in Shul, the taste-of-nature Sukkah meals with the family and the pulsating energy of Torah-dancing.

Yom Tov is uplifting- a pause in the mayhem; a time to reflect, reframe, recharge and resolve. It infuses you with new life and a fresh perspective. All too soon, it's over and you're back to work and a spiritual dry spell, wondering if perhaps you could have made more of the Yom Tov season.

From Rosh Hashanah until Simchas Torah you are like Adam & Eve in Eden, a foetus in the womb. Life is beautiful, yet detached from reality. Today is Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan, when we are birthed into the challenges of "real" life, expelled from G-d's protective Ark into the drudgery of earning a living "by the sweat of our brow".

Cheshvan is a far from exciting time on the Jewish calendar (there's not a festival in sight all month). We all want some excitement or inspiration to spice up our lives, but real life happens in the doldrums of everydayness. Stepping from high octane Tishrei into plain old Cheshvan challenges us to bring some of the Yom Tov spark with us into ordinary life.

Take a moment to think about one thing that inspired you over Yom Tov. If you can hold that experience or even just recall it from time to time, you'll have a meaningful- and please G-d blessed- year ahead.