The Diablo that didn't turn heads

Your children will always offer you a different perspective on things, and it's often worth listening to them. Their eye-opener comments often pop out from the backseat of the car, as happened to me last week.

It was the last week of the school holidays and I had promised the kids an outing. We were cruising down Republic road (nobody was fighting yet, which was a good sign) en route to Adventure Golf in Randburg, when he pulled in front of us. I'm not a big car afficiendo, but the bright yellow Lamborghini Diablo ahead of us did catch my eye (do I hear some of you guys drooling?).

"Hey, look at that car!" I announced to the kids. Instead of the "cool!" response I anticipated, their comments ranged from "that's a weird car" to "how can you get inside that thing?" As we waited for the light to turn green, and my brood debated how many people could squeeze into the speed-machine, a passing car distracted them. Across our line of sight a little ol' beat-up VW Beetle sputtered past. 

"Wow! Look at that old car!" "Cool!" The flashy hot-wheels was quickly forgotten as they oogled over the jalopy. 

Yep, kids can teach us sometimes. Speed and status are attractive, but stability and sensibility endure. 

Great article- Portesting Israel's "occupation" of the West Bank

Light up the nights

Hanukkah, Hannuka, Chanukah, spell it how you will, it's a fun-filled eight-days of celebration. 


THE STORY IN A NUTSHELL
Syrian Hellenists grew frustrated with the Jews because they refused to back down on "illogical" practices like circumcision at eight days and purity laws. 
When they couldn't change the Jews minds with logic, they resorted to violence and trashing the Temple in Jerusalem.
A brave family (the Chashmonaim) launched a guerrilla assault against the well-trained, powerful Greek-Syrian army. 
The Jews one. 
When they reclaimed the Temple, they couldn't find any pure oil to light the Menorah-candelabra (in their anti-purity zeal, the Hellenists had defiled every jug of oil).
When they eventually found a tiny jug, G-d broke the laws of Nature & made the drops of oil burn for eight days. 


GOT A LIGHT?
From Wednesday 1 December, light your Menorah/Chanukiya each evening after sunset.
On night 1, light 1. Night 2, light 2 etc,
[For the relevant blessings, click here]


CHANUKIYA DESIGNS
A kosher Chanukah candelabra has eight branches in a straight row at equal heights, plus a distinct branch for the "shamash" (lighter).


FUEL
First prize = Olive oil. Otherwise, those colourful candles are good too.


KEEP THE LIGHTS ON
Your candles need to burn for at least half an hour after dark (that's especially tricky on Shabbat, when you need to light the Chanukah lights before the Shabbat candles).


RELAX
Sit and watch your candles for a while. 
Women shouldn't work while the candles are burning (that's right, guys, you do dishes...).


SAY THANKS
During the Amidah and Birkat Hamazon (blessing after a meal), add the "Al Hanissim" paragraph that thanks G-d for the Chanukah miracles.


GELT
Give your kids Chanukah pocket money (especially on the 5th night).
Also give extra charity each day of Chanukah.


GO FOR A SPIN
Chanukah's famous game of spinning dreidel is great fun. 
[How to play]


TRANS-FATS, OY VEY
The Chanukah miracle is about oil- and so are the foods. Latkes and donuts or anything fried will do. 


DEEPER DIMENSION
Chanukah is the festival of Jewish mysticism, take a resolution to study some.


Have a fantastic Chanukah!!

It's never too late

WWII veteran, 91, celebrates bar mitzvah - Israel Jewish Scene, Ynetnews

Great speech!

Mr. Gennady Bogolubov speaks at the International Conference of Shluchim 2010 from Jewish Educational Media on Vimeo.

Kinect

Times Square was buzzing last Wednesday evening. I guess Times Square buzzes 24/7, 365 days a year, but last week was extraordinary. If you've visited New York's landmark thoroughfare, you'll recall the dazzling HD screens that turn night into day and flash commercials in your face.  It's where street vendors tout comedy shows and tickets to heaven to a sea of photo-snapping Asians, star-struck couples and scowling, scurrying locals. The "Crossroads of the world", you'll remember, is bounded by the Theatre Disctrict, One Times Square (from which they drop the New Year's Ball), the New York Hard Rock Cafe and, of course, Toys R Us. 

Last week's action unfolded outside the mega toy-store. We were dedicated parents, foraging for gifts to take home and almost missed  the "You are the controller" shirts that every sales representative there wore. Satisfied with our purchases, we stepped out into the refreshing evening chill, to be accosted by lavender signs on every building flashing "You are the controller". That was when we noticed the line.

The line stretched from the toy mecca's entrance to the end of the block, where it twisted right and continued a few hundred metres down the road. As we watched, it grew. More and more people, dressed for the freeze, some with chairs and blankets, took their places in line. They planned to spend the night on line, so they'd be poised to storm the shop as doors opened in the morning and the newest have-to-have gadget, the Xbox Kinect would come on sale. Kinect technology replaces the joystick or game controller with the player. Instead of pushing buttons, on-screen characters mirror your body's movements as you play. With Kinect, you are the controller of a virtual world.

Half a block away, we boarded the subway for Crown Heights, where I would stand in line to register for the Shluchim Conference- a weekend of spiritual upliftment. It would be a weekend of true connect, one that would empower each participant to be the controller of their piece of this world, to make it a better place.

Just when you were getting comfortable...

Do you also sometimes have those frenetic, dizzying rotor-blade days that sap you of patience, humour and energy? All you want to do after the day's chaos is to settle into your slippers, a hot bath or soft bed and breathe. Only the phone rings incessantly, your daughter needs help with homework or the neighbour's dog starts howling outside your window as you wind down.

Life teases us with all sorts of "just when you thought you were getting comfortable" moments to jolt us.

We are all entitled to gear down occasionally, but for the most part, life keeps us on our toes. Maybe it's G-d's conspiracy to keep us from getting comfortable.

Avraham was the prototype Jew who is supposed to model for us how living as a Jew works. Look at his life, he barely has a chance to catch his breath. As a child he has a run-in with his dad, who hands him over to the cops, who attempt to kill him (miraculously, Avraham survived). When he's 75, Hashem sends him packing to an unknown location and, as soon as Avraham gets settled there, brings famine to the land, sending Avraham on the road again. He tries to get on with his nephew, but Lot dumps him for the emerging markets in Sodom. Not long after that, Avraham has to rush off to rescue Lot (and fight off four kings) from his abductors. Avraham's wife can't have kids and advises him to take a second wife, but when Hagar falls pregnant, Sarah insists that Avraham kick her out the house (and potentially never meet the child he so wanted). Eventually, Hagar and Yishmael return and Sarah later bears a son. When Yishmael starts using his younger half-brother for target practice, Avraham sends him away. Then G-d tells him to take his favourite son and sacrifice him on an isolated mountain.

Avraham's life is a cacophony of upheaval with sprinklings of tranquility here and there. Had Avraham ever wanted to "chill", Hashem would quickly concoct a new speed-wobble to upend his world.

And he was the first Jew.

Because a Jew doesn't get comfortable. A Jew is someone who pushes the envelope and challenges everything that he or she has grown used to. A Jew cannot pat himself on the back or count "achievements". A Jew needs to always look for new challenges, aim for higher spiritual gains and greater impact on society. If a Jew doesn't push himself beyond his comfort-level, Hashem- in His infinite creativity- will.

Back to work...

Feel like you've seen a lot of Shul lately? Yom Tov season shleps us to daven considerably more than we normally would. Then there's all the eating, the family get-togethers, Sukkah visits and Simchas Torah workout- Judaism takes over much of our lives for the month of Tishrei.

All that Yom Toving can be tiring (this year someone asked me why we don't spread the holidays over a few months) or powerful and inspiring. As exhausting as playing rabbi for three triple headers was, I am sorry to see the Yom Tov season go. I'll miss the High holiday bursting-at-the-seams vibe in Shul, the taste-of-nature Sukkah meals with the family and the pulsating energy of Torah-dancing.

Yom Tov is uplifting- a pause in the mayhem; a time to reflect, reframe, recharge and resolve. It infuses you with new life and a fresh perspective. All too soon, it's over and you're back to work and a spiritual dry spell, wondering if perhaps you could have made more of the Yom Tov season.

From Rosh Hashanah until Simchas Torah you are like Adam & Eve in Eden, a foetus in the womb. Life is beautiful, yet detached from reality. Today is Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan, when we are birthed into the challenges of "real" life, expelled from G-d's protective Ark into the drudgery of earning a living "by the sweat of our brow".

Cheshvan is a far from exciting time on the Jewish calendar (there's not a festival in sight all month). We all want some excitement or inspiration to spice up our lives, but real life happens in the doldrums of everydayness. Stepping from high octane Tishrei into plain old Cheshvan challenges us to bring some of the Yom Tov spark with us into ordinary life.

Take a moment to think about one thing that inspired you over Yom Tov. If you can hold that experience or even just recall it from time to time, you'll have a meaningful- and please G-d blessed- year ahead.

Let's go green (Your guide to Sukkot)

Welcome to the time of year when all Jews Go Green, sit under the stars and feel the joy. Happy Sukkot!

Here are some tips for the holiday:

WHAT'S WITH THE HUT?
For 40 years in the desert, G-d protected us with the "Clouds of Glory". For eight days (starting Wed. eve 22 Sep.), we'll step out of man-made comforts and remind ourselves to trust G-d (that he'll hold off the rain, keep the mozzies at bay and protect us from sukkah-breakers).

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
Stick your sukkah under the stars. No overhanging trees or eaves allowed. (If you're in a complex/ apartment building, make sure you have permission before erecting your Sukkah, or it won't be kosher).

WALLED IN
You can use just about anything for Sukkah walls (including existing walls), as long as the walls don't flap like sails in the wind.

Minimum wall layout: 2 full walls + 1 mini-wall (about 1/2m).

Sukkah walls should reach from the floor to the top (you can have a gap of about 10cm at the bottom or top of the walls).

SEEING STARS
No, your Sukkah will not be waterproof. The roof needs to be made of vegetation that's been cut down (a creeper over the roof is no good).

Popular options for "shach" include: Palm, bamboo or unfinished lumber.

You know your Sukka's kosher when it's shady inside at noon. Rather have too much schach than too little. Do you need to see the stars? Yes (assuming you can see them through the city smog), but only from one spot in the Sukkah (feel free to set up a telescope through the branches).

SOME PRACTICAL POINTERS
- Make sure that your lights are waterproof.
- Create openings for ventilation, but make sure you can close them when it gets chilly.
- Pots and pans don't belong in a Sukkah, so prep the food inside and serve on platters.
- Anyone can build your Sukkah, but a Jew must place the schach leaves on top.

DECOR
Let your kids paint pictures to hang in the Sukkah. Feel free to add decorations of your own.
Chabad custom is not to decorate the Sukkah, because the Mitzvah should be beautiful enough.
Whatever you do, the main decoration of a Sukkah is lots of guests.

HOW TO USE IT
Eat all your meals in the Sukkah (you don't have to eat snacks there, but it's ideal).

If you eat bread or wine, add the brocha:
      Boruch Atoh Ado-noy E-lohaynu Melech haoilom asher       kid'shonu bemitzvoisov vetzivonu layshayv baSukkah.

You should eat your meal in the Sukkah on first night Yom Tov, even if it rains (you can wait for the rain to stop, obviously). Any other time, you may eat inside if it rains.

Women are not obliged to eat in the Sukkah.

Spend as much time as you can in the Sukkah (take your laptop or favourite book in there).

SHAKE IT UP
Every day of Sukkot (except Shabbat) you should start the day with shaking the Lulav and Etrog.

STAND PROUD
Your lulav (that's the tall green palm branch) should stand straight and stay compact. If it's bent or starts to fan out, check with the rabbi if it's still ok.

BTW, the Lulav represents your spine & how you should stand tall as a Jew.

Lulav care:
Keep it moist, not too wet, and in a cool spot.

IS THAT A LEMON?
No, an Etrog is a citroen, a unique fruit grown in Israel, Morocco and Italy. It tastes much better than a lemon & smells better too.

The mitzvah is to have a beautiful Etrog, so spare no cost ; ) Look for one that's yellow, symmetrical and clean (no black spots or blotches).

BTW, your Etrog represents your heart- keep it healthy and strong.

Etrog care:
Keep it dry and safe (dropping it could make it unkosher).

LEAVES
To the right of your Lulav, you'll bind three branches of myrtle (a.k.a. Hadassim).  To the left you'll bind two branches of willows or Aravot (NOT weeping willows).

The myrtles represent your eyes and the willows your mouth- make sure what goes into your eyes and what comes out of your mouth is kosher.

Leafy care:
Keep them moist and cool. If the leaves fall off, check with the rabbi if they're still ok.

LULAV-A-ROBICS
Do your daily Lulav-waving workout every morning (first prize: In the Sukkah).

Start with the brocha:
1. Boruch Atoh Ado-noi Elo-heinu Melech ha'olam asher kid'eshanu be'mitzvosov ve'tzivonu al netilas Lulav.

When you shake it for the first time, add:
2. Boruch Atoh Ado-noi Elo-heinu Melech ha'olam she'he'cheyanu ve'kiymanu ve'higi'yanu lizman hazeh.

All Jews point the four-species combo in all six directions (right, left, forward, up, down, back), but not all communities do it in the same sequence.

PRAY IT FORWARD
If you've got a Lulav set, share it with others. It's an easy Mitzvah to involve your family, friends and work colleagues in.

Have fun!

Anyone see the sky lately?

In keeping with the Elul spirit of "the King in the field" (and to treat my wife's family from the U.S.), we escaped to the bush for a few days last week. Technically, there's so much to take care of just before Yom Tov that it is not the ideal time for a bush-break. Philosophically, it's perfect. Nestled under azure skies in the tranquil embrace of nature, a myriad exotic bird species flitting about, is tailor-made for introspection. As your every taut muscle unknots and your metabolism slows, you allow yourself to forget life's stresses and instead focus on its blessings.

I had two Rosh Hashana-esque realisations in the warm glow of the African sun.

We had hoped to see loads of game, but the sightings were relatively limited (to be fair, we did drive right through a 500-strong herd of buffalo and had a close-up with two hyena in broad daylight). But, driving with the wind in our faces, game-seeking in an open Landrover, I noticed the sky. In the evening, we gazed at the stars and revelled in the light of a brilliant full moon.

Have you looked at the sky lately? I'm not asking if you have noticed the blue haze in your peripheral vision. How often do we actually look at and appreciate the sky? We spend the majority of our time indoors and drive around stashed away inside a car. Unless you walk a lot, you could go for weeks, maybe months without noticing the sky!

Chassidus teaches that an advantage humans have over animals is that we walk on two legs. Creatures that walk on all fours can't easily see the sky, humans can. Ironically, in the bush animals see the sky, while in the cities humans don't. For that matter, we don't feel the open air because we're confined by the man-made spaces we spend most of our time in.

Yesterday, I visited a doctor who is unwell. He commented on the high rate of malignancies in society and how he felt that radiation must be a big contributor to tumours. As we chatted, we wondered if maybe living cooped-up as we do is an equally relevant factor. Humans are supposed to step out into nature from time to time to release our stuff. We're supposed to "see the sky" to remain healthy.

And that means more than taking a holiday. It means seeing that the world is bigger than my issues. It means appreciating that Hashem takes care of innumerable ecosystems, which He manages perfectly, so surely He can take care of ours too.

We need to look at the sky, step into the open to feel the breeze on our faces and to relinquish control to the One who really is in control.

That was the second realisation I had. You can stress in the game reserve too. "I have to see lion", "I hope we see all the Big Five", "Let's try that area, maybe we'll see Rhino there". Or, you can relax and enjoy the experience, knowing that you have absolutely no way to determine which animal will walk into your path.

Admittedly, we were dismayed to find fresh leopard spoor and no leopard. But, we soon realised that we could do nothing to see one animal more than we were meant to see. It is easier to accept fate, or Providence as Jews call it, in the serenity of the Savannah. It's a more challenging in the office or at home, especially in tough times.

Yet, that is the challenge of the Jew: To accept that Hashem is in control and that He knows best, and to focus on becoming the best person each of us can become, because that is in our hands.

So, here's a thought for this Rosh Hashanah. Look at the sky to remind yourself that there are always higher and greater things to aim for in the coming year. And relax. Trust that Hashem will take care of everything you need when you concentrate on trying to do what He expects.

Can we keep the flag flying?

My flag blew off my car last week. My sister's flew off her car this week. Whether they blew away or were taken down, those symbols of patriotism that adorned thousands of vehicles and hundreds of buildings are mostly gone. So is the enthusiasm and goodwill that they brought with them.

Euphoric South Africa seems to be reverting quickly to cynical SA. The calls to "keep flying the flag" and to "lead SA" battle to be heard over the country's top-cop's corruption conviction and violent crime that is back on our streets. It is no surprise that many of us have started muttering things like, "Where are all those cops we saw during the World Cup?" and "We should've known they couldn't keep it up".

Now the finger-pointing starts. We bemoan the "useless" government that impressed the world short-term, but can't protect or service its citizens long-term.

We have just started the month of Elul, when we start gearing up for Rosh Hashanah. Elul is a time for honest self-assessment, a stock-taking for the soul. Unless you assess yourself truthfully, you can't realistically plan for a better next year.

In a perfect world, our country's government would "do Elul" and become introspective for the next thirty days. But, before we criticise, let's actually do some soul-searching and see if we could stand up to the scrutiny that we put our leaders through.

Over the Elul/Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur period, we will do our best to be model citizens. We will spend extra time at Shul, treat people better than usual and resolve to do things differently in the coming year. Hopefully, we will get caught up in the inspiration and spirit of the holiday season.

But, once it's all over, can we maintain the inspiration? Can we feel the tingle we get at Kol Nidrei on a regular Monday?

It would be unrealistic to imagine that any of us can carry the high spirits of Yom Tov for an extended period. We accept our own limitations, yet we condemn them in others.

If you want Yom Tov to be meaningful, then prepare to feel inspired and prepare to make realistic changes in the long-run. Be honest. Accept that euphoria must expire and that success is a series of small, consistent improvements. That's true for ourselves and it's true for the country we live in. Small, consistent improvements- we can all make them.

It's how you look at it

Have you ever wished you had a little more room at home? Maybe all you want is some extra storage space so you can put away those miscellaneous items that tend to pile up. Or perhaps you would like a breakfast nook, study or guest bedroom. You dream and ponder, but ultimately concede that you just don't have the space- or the budget- to expand your home.

Now imagine living in Hong Kong, one of the world's most densely populated cities, and trying to find additional living space. If you think your home isn't large enough, you may sober up when you hear that the average apartment size in that city is 56 square metres. Hong Kongers could fit their homes into some Sandton dining rooms!

Enter designer Gary Chang. Chang has lived his whole life in a 32 square metre apartment. Like many of us, he also dreamed of putting in a guest bedroom, state-of-the-art kitchen and more storage space. Buying a larger apartment was prohibitively expensive and he couldn't imagine splitting his existing home into more rooms.

So, he decided to turn the concept of living on its head. Instead of adding more rooms, he designed a brilliant series of movable panels and pull-out furniture to turn his single room into a twenty-room apartment. Slide the TV out the way and you'll find the kitchen. Pull down the back of the sofa to set up a double bed. In a flash he can transform his office table into a dining room and, when you pull back his CD rack, you find the bath.

Chang appreciated that he couldn't expand the space that he had, so he chose to see the space differently and use it accordingly. The result: A spectacular prototype for multi-functional space that will soon become available to Hong Kong's residents.

Tomorrow's Torah portion begins with G-d saying: "See, I have placed before you a blessing and a curse". Besides the obvious message, that our choices determine what happens in our lives, Hashem also offers us a great tip on how to approach life. "See". The way you perceive your circumstances will decide whether your life is a blessing or, G-d forbid, the opposite.

Hashem advises us to look for the positive in everything. He assures us that what we look for in life will determine what we find. Look for the good in a situation, and you will find opportunity. Look for the good in another person, and you will discover their goodness. 

Tiger on the loose

Panjo is home safely and the residents of Bronkhorstspruit can now breathe easier. Over the past two days, I will admit to enjoying telling friends abroad that wild animals do roam the streets of South Africa.

Trackers, sniffer dogs and local farmers combed a wide area in search of the young tiger, while the rest of the nation followed developments closely. The prospect of a tiger on the loose had us all a little uncomfortable. Now that he's back home, the questions have started. Do the big cat's owners have the appropriate legal documentation? Did they conform to safety standards when transporting the tiger to the vet? You really need to know what you're doing if you own a powerful predator like Panjo.

Of course, we're all experts on how they should have secured the great animal en route to the doc. Many of us are quick to condemn "irresponsible" people who "clearly" don't have the correct permits to own an endangered animal. "A tiger as a pet?" people ask incredulously.

Judaism prefers that we direct questions inwards, rather than point fingers. So, besides the fact that we should ensure that our own pets pose no threat to the public (admittedly, I'm extra sensitive since our neighbour's dog went for Mendy last week), what else can we learn from the tiger on the loose?

We all possess a wild animal. It lives within us and is usually docile. Over time, we start to believe that our inner-animal is just so cute and friendly and would never hurt a fly. Then, when we least expect it, our animal breaks out and starts running wild. Our animal may be anger, pride, stubbornness or passion. We won't now how it got out and we probably won't know how to get it back in.

Prevention is best, of course. Every person needs to be honest enough to learn the nature of their own animal. Anger and pride need to be restrained in the right cages and stubbornness or passion must be trained to express themselves appropriately. Without the right safeguards, you could have a disaster on your hands. Animals need owners to control them. G-d gave us an inner-animal and challenged us to become responsible owners.

Don't just sit there.

I've just seen the results of a new study commissioned by the American Cancer Association. Popular thinking used to insist that one hour's excercise per day would keep you healthy, but new evidence debunks this theory.

The study, done on more than 120 000 healthy participants over thirteen years, shows that prolonged sitting is serious health risk. That's right- sitting. Women who sit for six hours a day were 40% more likley to die younger than those who sat for less than three hours a day. Men who sat long hours each day had a 20% increased chance of dying young than their more active counterparts.

Of course, the study didn't factor in sitting and shockling as we do during davening, nor did they study the benefits of working up a sweat and gyrating your thumb while studying Talmud in Yeshivah.

Logically, when you sit around you tend to snack more than when you're active. But, long sitting sessions also supress your immune system and slow blood circulation. When you sit for long periods, you also alter your body's metabolism, which can increase cholestrol.

The message is clear: Keep moving.

Our bodies and souls operate in a very similar fashion. You need to keep your body active to keep it healthy, and you need to do the same for your soul. One hour's "excercise" for the soul each day doesn't keep you spiritually fit, much less so a couple of hours on weekends.

When you stimulate your soul- which you do when you get up and join a shiur, hop over to Shul or do an extra mitvzah- it comes to life. If you wait for your soul to wake up and inspire you before you'll actually do anything, you'll find yourself sitting for along time. And sitting spiritually still for prolonged periods leads to premature death of inspiration.

Keep moving!

Extra time

"And the game goes into extra time," announced the commentator. Spain & Holland, each vying for soccer's most coveted trophy were still 0:0 at full time. Fit as they may be, those players had to have been pretty tired when they faced an extra thirty minutes of play. Having fought so hard for victory and seen none, you might imagine that they would have started to slack as they headed back to the field for more. 


Instead of slowing or growing despondent, each team attacked the ball with renewed vigour. The game picked up pace. Adrenalin. Action. Speed. Nobody slows down when the stakes are high, regardless of how long this thing takes. With every passing minute, the game becomes more urgent. Everybody fights harder. One goal, just one, will make all the difference. You only need to hit the target before the ref blows the final whistle.


Our team, the Jewish nation, has been working to score G-d's goal for Creation. It's been a long match. We had expected it all to end long ago, but we're now in extra time. It's not time to slow down or to become complacent, but to up the ante and shoot to win. One goal, just one, is all we need to make the world a better place. Take a shot now, before the final whistle blows!

The morning after...

Tonight is the World Cup final at Soccer City, just a few miles away from here. We can already hear the sirens of VIP motorcades heading out of Sandton. Choppers are circling overhead and the ubiquitous vuvuzelas blast away on the streets. Once again, you can feel electricity in the air as South Africa gears up for the climax of a spectacular month. As Holland and Spain warm up to face off in the ultimate soccer meet, there is another group of people who faces an even greater challenge than the finalist teams.

We have floated on a cloud for weeks and now this spectacular time is about to end. Tomorrow's Monday morning blues will likely saturate the whole nation. Pick 'n Pay tellers and Eskom phone operators will resume their deadpan, slow-mo service. Window-washers will harass you at intersections and taxi drivers will cut you off on your way to work with nary a cop in sight to stop them. Whities will become cynical again. The great hangover sets in tomorrow. 

Or not.

Anticipation, celebration and the inevitable letdown that follows are not unique to the World Cup. I remember the day that I graduated high school; how my friends and I had so looked forward to that great celebration of freedom, and how the day had turned out to be unusually ordinary.  Weddings, births, graduations- life is full of wonderful moments to look forward to and enjoy, before they slip by. 

Life is actually not about the wonderful moments. It's after the excitement dies down that life truly begins. 

Yesterday we read the twin Torah portions Matos-Massei, which teach us how to deal with the "morning after" syndrome. 

Matos means staffs or tribes (the singular being "mateh") and Massei means journeys. The synonym for "mateh" is "shevet" (which also means both rod and tribe). The difference between a shevet and a mateh is that, while both are branches that have been cut from a tree, the former is still moist, fresh and flexible, while the latter has dried out and hardened. A shevet is inspired, whereas a mateh has lost its excitement. 

We all have our brief shevet moments and "real-life" mateh periods. 

A shevet still has its freshness and inspiration, but a mateh has strength and resilience. And that’s exactly the point. Inspiration is wonderful- while it lasts. It is not the stuff of achievement.

By linking the twin portions of Matos-Massei, the Torah illustrates a critical lesson about life: You will always feel better when you are inspired, but you will achieve more when you are resilient. Matos, determination- not excitement- produces Massei, journeys, movement and true progress.

South Africans could tomorrow make the all-too-natural mistake of cleaning up the party mess and moving on. Or we could learn the recurring lesson that good times are there to open our eyes to life’s opportunities. And then it’s up to us to realize those opportunities.

We are blessed. We have hosted and impressed the world. We have tasted national pride and national unity. Tomorrow is not the day to reminisce on how good the last month has been. It is the first day of working to grow the goodwill, spirit and positivism that our country forgot it had.

Lessons from the World Cup part IX: "The winning team"

All too quickly, it’s almost over. The World Cup hype has stoked our country for almost a month, and hopefully the positive vibe will continue beyond next Sunday night. We’ve seen some of soccer’s greatest names disappoint and some dark horses make good. Now it’s time for the best teams of the tournament to face off at Soccer City on Sunday night. 


The sangomas and psychic octopus are working hard to predict who will walk away with the trophy, while the bookies put Holland ahead of Spain to win. Either way, history will be made. Netherlands has never won a World Cup and Spain has never made it to the finals. 


So, what does it take to be a winner? 


Casino ads often carry the disclaimer that “winners know when to stop”,but it’s the other way round in competitive sports. Your biggest mistake in a contest of this magnitude is to stop or even slow anytime before the final whistle. Even if your team has one goal up on your opposition, you should still push for another goal- and then another. Watch the pros play and you’ll see they don’t relax when they take the lead, they keep pushing.


In business, too, winners don’t slow when business is good, they power on harder. Regardless of how spectacular profits may be, a successful businessman will strive for even more. Winning artists keep honing their skills, top musicians practice and practice and scientists consistently push the envelope of research and innovation.


As one of my high school teachers was fond of saying: “Keep on truckin’!”


Everyone accepts the winner’s attitude to sport or business, but we often overlook this approach in the core areas of life. A few years into our marriages, we are likely to feel comfortable, maybe complacent. We tend to get by with giving our children just enough attention and love, but nothing that ejects us from our comfort zone. We hardly tackle our Judaism with winner’s enthusiasm.


This week we’ll read the Torah portion called “Masei”, meaning “journeys”. Note, the name is “journeys”, in the plural. Judaism is about constantly progressing; always improving. As soon as you plateau, you are not living as a Jew should. 


Judaism is built on the winner’s attitude. Make sure you don’t take second place.

Lessons from the World Cup part VIII: "There's no I in team"

As the World Cup tournament progressed, we saw team after team leave the field. We saw  some of the hottest teams unceremoniously dismissed. France is seething at their team that fell apart, English fans want to know why their players are paid so much (they didn't even make the quarter-finals) and South America's giants bowed out early.


In the build-up to the games, people ogled over Rooney, Ronaldo, Kaka and Messi. None of them will play in the final game on Sunday. Having a celebrity sportsman on your team doesn't guarantee success, because one man cannot win a soccer game. It's a team effort, where everyone has to play in harmony or everyone goes down. It's those teams who have played as a cohesive unit who have made it to the finish line, not those that boasted the fanciest names of football.


Judaism is team effort. You can't connect to G-d on your own; you need to join a team. You can't rely on a professional Jew (your rabbi) to look after your spiritual needs. No matter how good your rabbi is, one man can't win the game. For that matter, you can't expect your child's school to insure his child's spiritual wellbeing. Sure, you send your youngster to an excellent school, but his teachers need you on the team to ensure that he turns out a success.

Lessons from the World Cup part VII: "Spectators"

Watching soccer is interesting. Watching people watch soccer is more interesting. At times they sit on the edge of their seats, beer suspended pre-swig in midair, breath held. They chorus in collective groans at the near-misses and yelps of "Yes! Yes!" when their team scores. It's understandable. Your adrenalin pumps as the excitement on the field rises. 


What I don't get is when people shout instructions to the players. I understand that technology has come a long way from the old flickering TV screens and you can now watch the game in HD or even 3D. I didn't know that the new-fangled sets allow the players to hear you.


Ok, we all know they can't hear you. We all know that fans play the game vicariously through the footballers they watch. But, seriously, why the screaming?


It gets more extreme than that. 


When we realized that we would battle for a Mincha-Maariv minyan on the evening of the South Africa- France game, I arranged for the guys to watch the game together at someone's house and we'd daven Mincha during half-time (I can be pragmatic, sometimes). 


Mincha took a little longer than expected and the guys got back to the game a few minutes into the second-half. Nothing serious had happened in the first few minutes of play, so everyone should have been happy. What nobody noticed was that one of the guys had slipped into the room ahead of the pack and PVR'ed the game back to the beginning of the second half. When the others found out, a raucous debate ensued: Some wanted to watch every minute of the action, while the others argued that there would be no point in watching a live game if they were not going to watch it live. 


In life, there are times when you are the player and times when you're only a spectator. When you're the player- when you can do something about a situation- play with everything you've got. When you're a spectator- when things happen that are beyond your control- don't scream and shout, because it won't help. Don't try control what you can't control and don't live in the past, because the live game will pass you by.


Some people live life as players. They get things done. Others are spectators. They make no meaningful contribution, but have plenty of advice for everyone else. If you find yourself feeling critical of everyone else, it may be a symptom that you're living as a spectator. When that happens, get up and do something proactive.

Lessons from the World Cup: Audio link